Showing posts with label top ten lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top ten lists. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Care and Feeding of Your Religious Educator Part 3

When I became a Religious Educator in June of 2005 I made a vow to my husband and family. I said "five years, I'll stay five years and then move on" a vow I've clearly broken. Five years was branded into my heart and soul because as a congregant I had seen a number of religious educators be eaten alive at five years into the work. 

I thought it was a universal. If you stayed long enough to really have a rhythm and a groove, the congregation would decide that you were the root of whatever was going wrong in the church and send  you packing. 

But I haven't been eaten alive. I haven't even had any bites taken--maybe a nibble or two over the years, but hey...I'm nibble proof. 

Why? Why does it work for some folks? What happened for me that allows me to put nails in the wall of our office to hang pictures? What let's me add expensive and really long term study "work" books to my library. What makes a professional religious educator able to stay past five years?

1. I was treated as a professional and a colleague from the minute I was offered the job. The minister welcomed me, the president at the time who is also our chaplain welcomed me. The chair of the RE committee welcomed me. I was a clueless newbie, but they gave me a grace period, a good professional budget and for that first year pretty much anything I asked for in the program. There was no "prove yourself" period. It was easy to grow into the professional role with the door held open. 

2. The congregation supported my professional development from the first minute I held the job. I attended the 2005 Fort Worth GA ten days after I started. I went to LREDA Professional day, I spent hours and hours in the exhibit hall learning all I could about curriculum (that's where I first met Jeff Liebmann of uujeff's muse kennel and pizzatorium--he made fun of me for being a curriculum geek!) and I opened my planner to anyone who would look at it with me to help puzzle out the next curriculum year. It was like a crash course in new DRE start up. I could never have gone without rock solid support of the leadership of the congregation. 

3. I had great support when parents or others would push back on something. I had a vision and a goal for our program and the way things had always been done had nothing to do with what we were doing. 

4. Conflict and conflict and more conflict. I love the people I work with, but there isn't a fear of saying "hey, I think you've got it wrong" or "Hey get the heck OFF my toes!" it is not always easy and is never pleasant, but it is clean and honest and much, much better in the long run. 

5. I had colleagues from the start. The advantage I had coming in was time served on an RE Committee and on a Steering Committee (the old-style board) so I'd heard about LREDA from a couple of religious educators, and I knew where to go and what to look for. I've heard of ministers who tell the religious educator they hire to avoid LREDA. That's unforgivable. Much of the learning of how to do this work is in a kind of ad hoc apprenticeship style. Even today I can say anything to a couple of my buddies and they just listen, no judgement, no argument--just support. 

6. From day one I also had a great RE chair. The fact that we now share an office and one full time position tells the whole story--she was committed and hard working as the chair and is both as a colleague now. I hear about congregations forgoing the RE Chair and committee in favor of working groups, but nothing can replace a member who has accepted the leadership on the congregation's side. This is a primary role--maybe nominating committees should consider recruiting the RE chair as a part of their work. 

5. As my professional experience grew, my congregation supported my work at a district and continental level. There was no hesitation that I should serve on boards, or as a consultant. Even weekends away to do the work were happily covered. The RE chair said "we're not very big, we can't give huge sums of money to the movement, but we can give them you for a while." While this fed me and exhausted me, it affirmed their view of me as a resource beyond our doors.

4. I've had an ongoing freedom to do the work as needed, with a powerful trust that: I'll work my hours, the work will get done and that I won't over work my hours. Yeah, trusting me to not overwork was a bust, but I'm trying. But I've been able to work from home, bring my homeschooled kids to work, work from the road--whatever. I've heard about congregations requiring their religious educators to work all their hours in the office. Oh please! If I had to do the quiet, spiritually challenging work in the office I'd go nuts! And how do you shop for a boat load of craft and classroom supplies at the office?? Yes, get volunteers to do that, yadayada, but sometimes you have to work from someplace other than the office. 

3. Everyone involved in a crazy organization like a church needs to be able to laugh, at themselves, repeatedly. Well, one or two can opt out, but everyone else has to be all in. You've gotta have a sense of humor. 

2.  Hard, hard, workers surrounding you make everything easier. At my job I'm surrounded by people who know how to really work. It rocks. 

1. I have had forgiveness gracefully extended to me over and over. This group of people trotting along with me on this journey have forgiven forgotten meetings, messed up plans, crazy ideas that turned out to just be crazy ideas and many other of my human foibles. They still pay me and they still bring me chocolate and even sometimes gift cards for the local coffee shop. 

It's not easy, but it is simple and straightfoward. Pay people a living wage, be respectful, provide the tools to get the job done and as boards/leaders and ministers educate yourselves about what is reasonable to expect from a professional religious educator. 


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Proper Care and Feeding of Your Religious Educator

Having your very own Religious Educator can be a pleasure for the whole church family! Simply follow the Top 10 easy care steps outlined below for a healthy and happy Religious Educator:

10. Take your Religious Educator out for some fresh air every day. Long stays in the RE office surrounded by craft sticks and battery candles makes them frustrated and likely to drink pots of coffee directly from the carafe.

9. Bring your Religious Educator the entire list of craft supplies needed for the lesson to be taught well before Saturday night at 9:43 pm. While some stores are open this late, your Religious Educator is sure to be filling the slots of teachers who are sick and finding a great children's message for the outside speaker who "forgot" to prepare a story.

8. Remember, be careful not to pile huge loads of miscellaneous junk and building supplies in RE classrooms! Your Religious Educator still has that bad back from slipping on the stairs in the dark at the last youth group overnight on the way to brew coffee at 5:59 am! You don't want to aggravate that nasty injury!

7. When your Religious Educator begins screaming at the computer screen for the fifth time in 10 minutes, be sure to help recruit some volunteers to staff the game night or the spaghetti dinner as surely there have been six people who have changed their plans and can't help now that the weather forecast has taken a turn for the better!

6. During coffee hour, when the line to speak with your Religious Educator is winding out the door and past the parking lot, bring that trooper a nice cup of coffee! Remember, an IV drip for your Religious Educator's coffee just might be necessary given the constant need to answer questions, stop children from committing murder and plan meetings.

5. If you see your Religious Educator sit down and actually begin to enjoy the Sunday Service, be a dear and gently go over and shake them awake, the sleeplessness has surely taken over and you know they need to go check to be certain that the class full of the especially squirrley girls hasn't decided to make duct tape teacher traps instead of duct tape wallets.

4. To promote the longest possible length of employment for your Religious Educator, remember not to ask them what they do for their real career! This will make them grumble and wonder just what that Master's Level credentialing is all for, anyway!

3. Should your Religious Educator ask about taking a Sunday off, remember, don't say "But you just had a Sunday off last year!" Oh, no, no! Sit patiently by while the Religious Educator notices how much easier it is to just work on Sunday than to cover all those tasks.

2. If your Religious Educator begins to look crispy around the edges in September, October or November it's a sure sign of "START-UP BURN OUT!" Immediately remove all extra responsibilities from their four foot long "TO DO" list and bring the best chocolate available locally, administer in large doses. If smoke begins to come out of their ears, you might as well form a search committee, you've accidentally fried one.

And the number one thing to remember in the care and feeding of your Religious Educator:

1. Always, always hold a weekly meeting in the Fireside room overlooking the water--include the Religious Educator and other staff who love and care for the church and the children as much as they do. If you can, bring cookies. Laugh a little, cry a little and remind that Religious Educator that things that are worth doing are often pretty damn hard to do.

Amen.


Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Top Ten Best Things About GA 2010


10. Minneapolis--what a beautiful city! I loved it!

9. Scouting the city for gluten free food with good friends, and running into one of my very best friends on the planet at the gf bakery. How cool is that? Then ending the night with fabulous food and good cocktails.

8. Denny Davidoff. Yes, she was fabulous on our LREDA Professional day keynote panel. And Kathleen Carpenter (DRE and from Mecklenberg ministries interfaith group) and Hannah MacCaughnahay from the Interfaith Youth Core were also amazing on that panel.

7. Sitting with my mom at the opening ceremony.

6. The Happy Hour on the roof at Brit's pub, and my wonderful roommate who didn't care if I was already in my pajamas, but talked me into heading out. Mmmmmm, beer!

5. Spending time with my LREDA peeps. What a fabulous, committed group of fine professionals.

4. The Peter Mayer concert. All of it. Even if I had to stand for most of it.

3. Seeing good friends and making real connections with people I just knew I'd love more if I got to know them better.

2. Serving on the LREDA board and producing; a professional day, a booth in the exhibit hall, a few workshops and an annual meeting and luncheon--all without one big disaster. It was a huge honor to serve my colleagues.

1. The very best moment of the 2010 General Assembly? Lighting the chalice for the Sunday morning worship with my oldest son. Yes, even if I couldn't find the chalice for one panicked moment (I swear, at the rehearsal there were NO FLOWERS hiding it!) it was an honor and a joy to be a part of the service. Especially with my dear son.

Amen.

(Thanks to Dea Brayden, who works as Peter Morales' assistant for the picture and for being so fun to work with!)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Top Ten True Things about Sick Kids


We've just survived a round of the plague here at the homestead. Well, it's still hanging on a bit. Today at yoga class I couldn't manage a "corpse" pose without a yucky cough. And all the men in my house sound a little like Darth Vader. We're almost done being sick.....at least I think we're almost done. Please baby Jesus let us be almost done. Thank you. Amen. Meanwhile....

Top Ten True Things about Sick Kids

10. When home sick from your homeschool school you can watch Mythbusters all day long and call it "science".

9. Little dogs think sick children are absolutely the best dog beds, ever.

8. Reading text books is far too taxing. Entire Calvin and Hobbes collections? Perfect!

7. Sick teenagers actually THANK you for taking care of them.

6. Jello? OH yeah!

5. A sick kid is totally captive for whatever agenda you have, like say....future educational plans. Or clean bedrooms.

4. Doing math homework on cold medicine? Yeah, not a good idea. Sorry Mrs. Smith, he'll re-do the assignment.

3. Sick children, even when really sick, are still way better at technology than parents.

2. Chicken soup makes you feel better. Vegetarian chicken soup works, too. Don't ask.

1. And the most true thing about sick kids? They can help you with your blog posts. Thanks, Ryan! I love you!





Friday, December 25, 2009

Top 10 True Things about Christmas 2009


10. Christmas in the Pacific Northwest isn't a white one this year...robins and sun.


9. No vegetarians shall get the turkey ready to go in the oven. But gee, smells fabulous!


8. Fighting for world domination is a good thing....if it's done with your brother.


7. Or brothers.

6. Little dogs can learn how to open their own Christmas presents.

5. Having older children means that no one will sound their trumpet at 2:30 AM and announce that it's Christmas and time to open presents. Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you!

4. Being far from family means that instead of juggling three Christmas celebrations, it's just us.....and usually involves a couple of movies.

3. And Christmas far from family means we have created our own traditions here.....like going to Seattle Center on Christmas Eve.


2. Little dogs like to stay out on warm sunny winter days, even if the house smells like bacon and turkey.

1. Nothing in the world is more important every single day of the year, but on Christmas we remember to tell each other......."I love you you crazy, wonderful family!" xoxo

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Top Ten Ways You Know You're Feeling Better


10. You notice...oh man, you really need a shower.

9. Water tastes like water again.

8. Watching hours of mindless tv on Netflix instant view gets really old.

7. Sleeping no longer takes 18 hours a day.

6. Coffee! Warm, earthy coffee tastes like coffee again!

5. You can follow a thought from step one to step two.....and sometimes even to step three.

4. All those things you should have done for church on Sunday come back to you......at about noon on Sunday. Crap.

3. Doing some basic, pretty mindless work feels really good.

2. Oh my GOD the kitchen floor is filthy! And you actually care!

1. Looking at a week overflowing with work....hey, looks good to me. Must be almost well!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Top Ten Ways to Like Your Kids


OK, I know I should be practicing the Story for All Ages puppet show for church tomorrow. Or finalizing the meeting notes for the new Story Circle Group. Or going over the information we've gathered about how other churches implement OWL when they're small and have no building. Or even preparing for our first youth group meeting of the year. But I just can't concentrate. I have had such a great day with my family. I was gone for just a few days in San Fransisco with my friends, but I MISSED my family. I missed my kids. And today we were together for almost the whole day. I'm still flying.

And I wonder, how can this be? Everyone laments the teen years; says your kids will drive you crazy, you'll be so excited to get them out of the house. Well, that's all true, sometimes my children drive me crazy. I have threatened to start hiding their shoes from them if they leave them in the front hall once more (I HATE when people do that, we have four official places for shoes to go in the house....tripping me in the front hall is not one of them). And they talk to each other in ways that they would never consider speaking to anyone else, which breaks my heart and makes me want to scream at them to stop hurting each other. This is no perfect house, not even close.

But the secret is; I like my kids. Really like them. They're lovely people, I enjoy being with them, I like to talk to them, I value their opinions and their humor and their commitment to the things and people that matter to them. I miss them when we're not together. Maybe it's some awful co-dependent relationship and I am completely ruining them as "Monster Mama"; in fact, that's probably it. But I'll share the things I think we've done that have helped us build a friendly parent-child relationship despite the fact that we still make them do laundry and mow lawns and floss their teeth and do their homework.

Top Ten Ways to Like Your Kids

10. Treat your kids with respect, and they'll treat you with respect. That's a whole lot easier to like.

9. Talk to the other adults in your life the way you want your kids to talk to you, yes even your annoying neighbor and your crazy Aunt Zelda. Kids watch everything, and copy it. Again, easier to like kind people.

8. Create chunks of time that put you in proximity to your kids, that way you can get to know each other. Tell them you want company at the library, need help choosing pudding at the grocery store, want help picking out the right pizza for dinner at the take out place. Talk about things that interest you and then; shhhh.... listen to what they have to say.

7. Find common interests. Like cars? Go to the car show together. Airplanes? Get french fries and park near the airport and watch planes take-off and land together. Music? Go to lunch time concerts. This builds common bonds that ferry you over rough waters.

6. Play games, unless like me, you hate games. I've learned to play short games, like "I Doubt It" while we wait for our food at a restaurant. But my husband plays poker and cribbage with the boys and while I'm a little green over the snorting laughter they have, playing those games would make me scream.

5. Be honest. But not too honest. Say "Yes, I'm crabby and having a really bad day", but don't dump on your children. I've learned this one from my oldest who was kind enough to explain it to me. He's right. Growing up has enough trouble built in, no need to add to it beyond a simple explanation.

4. Tell your kids that you appreciate them. Simple right? We tell our kids we love them, that we're proud of them, but do we get down to the core? Not too often. "I really appreciate your sense of humor, thanks for making me laugh" "Thanks so much for noticing that, you are so perceptive" "Hey, the way you helped your friend reminds me of just how very kind you are." Tell them!

3. Laugh together. Watch funny videos on youtube or old comedies from your childhood. Go see puppies or kittens who fall all over each other. Do Madlibs. Relax, enjoy. Childhood is really, really short. Trust me, my tiny baby turns 18 in a very few days. It's good to have memories of laughing together because if you're like me, you know they will have memories of you yelling at them!

2. Deal with your adult issues so that you are likable. Not sleeping enough? Figure that out. Stuck in a dead end job? Either accept it or figure out how to have a new job. Hate your house? Fix it or move. Living with an eternal crab will suck the joy out of a kid, and a crabby kid is a no fun.

And the number one way to like your kids?

1. Keep all the mess and busyness and chaos in perspective. It is a huge gift to share the life of a child! In about a week and a half they're going to move out and win the Nobel Peace Prize just like President Obama. So don't forget to relax and enjoy the ride!


Saturday, August 22, 2009

Top Ten True things about a Week at Home Alone



10. Being busy is not only a function of children and husbands.

9. A warm little dog on a cold night is pretty cozy.

8. It takes three days to fill up the dishwasher, three days! Even with all home cooked meals!

7. Sharing two tomatoes from the garden with yourself makes a yummy tomato and feta salad.

6. The washing machine has a small load setting. Who knew?

5. Taking the dog for a walk every day takes an hour and a half.

4. A small bottle of wine can last for days! But not if you're watching a good movie.

3. Being alone does not mean being lonely.

2. You can only work for a certain number of hours in one day. Really.

and the number one true thing about a week at home alone?

1. It's QUIET. Really, quiet.... q u i e t. Shhh.....