Kari's News

Hey Blog world, I've got some news to share.....and while I can't be a part of finding the next Religious Educator here at Westside....I can tell you, it's a great place to work! 

Dear Members and Friends of Westside UU Congregation,

Today we announce that Kari Kopnick is ending her employment here as Director of Religious Exploration for Children and Youth, sometime around  the end of May.   After seven years, Kari feels that it is time to start a new chapter in her life with new and different challenges.    Though this makes us truly sad, we are also happy for Kari because she is wisely listening to her needs to create the next chapter in her life. 

In her letter of resignation she said:

“I can’t imagine a better way to have spent the past seven years of my life.  Serving this congregation and watching while you grew and built a powerful community filled with love and spirit has been a privilege.  It has also been a profound honor to have been invited into the lives of so many precious families.  My heart lives inside dozens and dozens of Westside children, youth and now even young adults.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a part of this wonderful community. I leave not to take another job, but because it’s the right time to go.  I pledge that I will do everything in my power to provide all the resources for a graceful and loving transition for the community and for your new Religious Educator.”

As congregants we will need time for our sadness, and we will want to plan times and ways to express our appreciation to Kari, and to celebrate the programs for which she has provided superior professional leadership.    Please begin thinking about ideas for celebrating all that Kari has meant to us.

In the meantime, we are also working to have a search committee appointed by the Board of Trustees.   This committee will manage the process of a continental search for a new Religious Educator, utilizing resources of the Unitarian Universalist Association and the professional Liberal Religious Educators Association (LREDA).   As Kari has said, our position will be an extremely attractive one for RE professionals because of the health and vitality of our congregation, and because of the excellent working relationship that has existed between our RE staff, the active supportive RE Council, and our Minister.  

We are happy to know that Kari is planning on being a part of our congregation as a regular member, after the appropriate time for her successor to get established.  She has visions of singing in the choir and being able to actually attend worship!

Of course you are welcome to contact any of us with your questions.  We will keep in communication with the congregation, as will the search committee after it is formed.

Our best to all,

Heather Hisatomi and Amy Hance-Brancati, RE Council Co-Chairs

Jill Fleming, Congregational President

Rev. Peg Morgan, Minister

The Truth about being a Religious Educator

I am really not sure how this has happened, but I've been a religious educator for a long time, now. I'm not the skin horse, yet, I'm not the wise old toy in the nursery who explains the truth to the Velveteen Rabbit, but when a new religious educator asks for advice or information, I have some things to say. It still surprises me a little that I've been around for a while. It seems like just yesterday I was figuring out how to turn the lights on at church. In cynical moments I could say that it's gone by so fast because I haven't had time to look up from what I'm doing! But those moments go by quickly. I love what I do. I love my work. And it's worth all the busy rush and the Sundays that last 13 hours and still aren't long enough.

What I love about my job:

People. Big people and little people, people who come and empty all the garbage and recycling in the building every single week, people who sit across from me and make me laugh so hard I can't remember what I was doing and no longer care anyway, people who teach when they are too busy to teach and love it, people who deal with cranky teens in the moments when I just really want them all to convert to some other faith and people who show up and do the things that just need to be done again and again.

Spirit. I love getting to talk about that magical spark that is the essence of being and to see it at work in young people. There's no need to be politically correct--we're on the same page about this one (although we don't all use the same words to talk about it.) Our young ones are so much closer to the wild truth that everyone is a miracle, when you tell them that they are made of star stuff, you can almost see on their faces "I knew it!"

Love. In all the work I did before this,  there was never a formal place for the power of love. As religious educators we get to celebrate the power and grace of love, every single day!

Worship. Being a part of making the magic that becomes worship is an honor and a gift. Inviting a group of children and adults into silent prayer--and hearing the sweet twittery stillness?  Amazing.

Colleagues. I love the religious professionals I serve with at the church I work for. I couldn't ask for a more skilled and supportive team. But the work I do would be absolutely impossible if it were not for my brother and sister religious educators. They are the sun and the stars and the moon and if I were not able to be in their presence on a regular basis--both virtually and in person I would have shriveled up and left the work years ago, I would have been one of the short timers. I love my colleagues. And the longer I'm in this work, the more I realize just how lucky I am to do this work, and know these people. It's a blessing.

The truth is, I am wildly luck to be a religious educator and even luckier to know the people it brings to my life.

Care and Feeding of Your Religious Educator Part 3

When I became a Religious Educator in June of 2005 I made a vow to my husband and family. I said "five years, I'll stay five years and then move on" a vow I've clearly broken. Five years was branded into my heart and soul because as a congregant I had seen a number of religious educators be eaten alive at five years into the work. 

I thought it was a universal. If you stayed long enough to really have a rhythm and a groove, the congregation would decide that you were the root of whatever was going wrong in the church and send  you packing. 

But I haven't been eaten alive. I haven't even had any bites taken--maybe a nibble or two over the years, but hey...I'm nibble proof. 

Why? Why does it work for some folks? What happened for me that allows me to put nails in the wall of our office to hang pictures? What let's me add expensive and really long term study "work" books to my library. What makes a professional religious educator able to stay past five years?

1. I was treated as a professional and a colleague from the minute I was offered the job. The minister welcomed me, the president at the time who is also our chaplain welcomed me. The chair of the RE committee welcomed me. I was a clueless newbie, but they gave me a grace period, a good professional budget and for that first year pretty much anything I asked for in the program. There was no "prove yourself" period. It was easy to grow into the professional role with the door held open. 

2. The congregation supported my professional development from the first minute I held the job. I attended the 2005 Fort Worth GA ten days after I started. I went to LREDA Professional day, I spent hours and hours in the exhibit hall learning all I could about curriculum (that's where I first met Jeff Liebmann of uujeff's muse kennel and pizzatorium--he made fun of me for being a curriculum geek!) and I opened my planner to anyone who would look at it with me to help puzzle out the next curriculum year. It was like a crash course in new DRE start up. I could never have gone without rock solid support of the leadership of the congregation. 

3. I had great support when parents or others would push back on something. I had a vision and a goal for our program and the way things had always been done had nothing to do with what we were doing. 

4. Conflict and conflict and more conflict. I love the people I work with, but there isn't a fear of saying "hey, I think you've got it wrong" or "Hey get the heck OFF my toes!" it is not always easy and is never pleasant, but it is clean and honest and much, much better in the long run. 

5. I had colleagues from the start. The advantage I had coming in was time served on an RE Committee and on a Steering Committee (the old-style board) so I'd heard about LREDA from a couple of religious educators, and I knew where to go and what to look for. I've heard of ministers who tell the religious educator they hire to avoid LREDA. That's unforgivable. Much of the learning of how to do this work is in a kind of ad hoc apprenticeship style. Even today I can say anything to a couple of my buddies and they just listen, no judgement, no argument--just support. 

6. From day one I also had a great RE chair. The fact that we now share an office and one full time position tells the whole story--she was committed and hard working as the chair and is both as a colleague now. I hear about congregations forgoing the RE Chair and committee in favor of working groups, but nothing can replace a member who has accepted the leadership on the congregation's side. This is a primary role--maybe nominating committees should consider recruiting the RE chair as a part of their work. 

5. As my professional experience grew, my congregation supported my work at a district and continental level. There was no hesitation that I should serve on boards, or as a consultant. Even weekends away to do the work were happily covered. The RE chair said "we're not very big, we can't give huge sums of money to the movement, but we can give them you for a while." While this fed me and exhausted me, it affirmed their view of me as a resource beyond our doors.

4. I've had an ongoing freedom to do the work as needed, with a powerful trust that: I'll work my hours, the work will get done and that I won't over work my hours. Yeah, trusting me to not overwork was a bust, but I'm trying. But I've been able to work from home, bring my homeschooled kids to work, work from the road--whatever. I've heard about congregations requiring their religious educators to work all their hours in the office. Oh please! If I had to do the quiet, spiritually challenging work in the office I'd go nuts! And how do you shop for a boat load of craft and classroom supplies at the office?? Yes, get volunteers to do that, yadayada, but sometimes you have to work from someplace other than the office. 

3. Everyone involved in a crazy organization like a church needs to be able to laugh, at themselves, repeatedly. Well, one or two can opt out, but everyone else has to be all in. You've gotta have a sense of humor. 

2.  Hard, hard, workers surrounding you make everything easier. At my job I'm surrounded by people who know how to really work. It rocks. 

1. I have had forgiveness gracefully extended to me over and over. This group of people trotting along with me on this journey have forgiven forgotten meetings, messed up plans, crazy ideas that turned out to just be crazy ideas and many other of my human foibles. They still pay me and they still bring me chocolate and even sometimes gift cards for the local coffee shop. 

It's not easy, but it is simple and straightfoward. Pay people a living wage, be respectful, provide the tools to get the job done and as boards/leaders and ministers educate yourselves about what is reasonable to expect from a professional religious educator. 

Care and Feeding of Your Religious Educator Part 2

I wrote earlier this fall about keeping your Religious Educator happy and content in their work at a congregation. With a recent rash of resignations/trauma among completely unnamed colleagues, let’s take this a little deeper.

Professional Expense

A congregation simply must provide for the continuing education of their religious professionals. Your bookkeeper needs to go to training on the updates for the system they use to manage the books (can you say CHURCH WINDOWS??) the minister needs to buy books and go to professional events to find renewal and your religious educator needs to have classes, training and collegial time to be able to come back and be the best professional that they can be.

Time Off

Not just time off for good behavior. Not just time off “if you can cover the things you normally do on Sunday that the congregation needs” but regular reliable and committed time away. LREDA guidelines say that religious educators need to have four weeks of paid vacation as well as the option to take ONE SUNDAY PER MONTH OFF! What? You say. One Sunday a month OFF? But that’s when everything happens, that’s when we NEED our professional to be on site.

OK, yes, I understand that. But it’s not true. A religious education committee needs to know what that religious educator does every Sunday, and they need to be able to step in and DO it. It provides them ownership and a deeper understanding of what happens each week. The religious educator needs time with their own family or in solitude that is contiguous and relaxed to be able to recharge. If we didn’t earn half the salary of a city bus driver, maybe working every Sunday except the ones for vacation would make sense. Don’t get me wrong, we love our work, we love Sundays, but there is a good and time tested reason that LREDA guidelines demand one Sunday a month off. Put it in the contract, support it, and explain it to the board and whoever fusses about it. Stand behind it.

Sabbatical

The work we religious educators do doesn’t end. We have “days off” but the next children’s chapel or the holiday play or a working list of who can teach next fall is always churning in our hearts and minds. We get important calls from families on our “day off” and of course we take the call because we love the families of the congregation and we are the best ones to help them when things are hard. We work more hours than you pay us to work, we answer email on vacation and we take family time to run to the book store late on Saturday night to pick up the book that someone forgot to get for the children’s message for worship in the morning.

So write a sabbatical into your religious educator’s contract. Yes it’s scary and hard, yes you will miss that professional presence, but it’s the right thing to do. We Unitarian Universalists buy fair trade coffee and vegan Birkenstocks, we march for human rights and a fair wage for workers elsewhere, but sometimes we treat our own employees in ways that are not fair or just or right. It is easy to overlook our lay employees—after all they aren’t ordained clergy. But some of the expectations of congregations I’ve been hearing about are absolutely disgusting. So write it in to the contract. A month per year served is the common measure. Can’t start there? At least write something in, start somewhere.

GET HELP!

Reach out to Good Officers, either from the UUMA, UUMN or LREDA if there are troubles that are brewing. Bring in your district services, and believe them when they say to call BEFORE things get bad, before you have a problem. This is what keeps us healthy. Marriage counseling, grief counseling, are commonly accepted places to turn to prevent problems, think of your congregation in the same way. Yes a consultant from Alban Institute is expensive, but what are the hidden costs of NOT doing it?

Save the money you’d spend on a search committee

Turn over for religious educators is extremely high. Why wouldn’t it be? The work is demanding and rigorous. The hours are often simply awful. The complaints are voluminous—we are the reason classrooms are hot, after all. And we sometimes get asked to clean out the fridge in the kitchen and to handle pastoral calls because the minister is out in almost the same breath. But we do the work (but not the fridge!) because it is fulfilling and extremely important.

For all its pitfalls it’s the most rewarding job that most of us have ever had or will ever have. But if you don’t follow LREDA guidelines or you ask simply too much of the human you’ve contracted with to be your Religious Educator, they will leave. Gone. Poof. Seems like a whole lot of people are leaving as of December 31^st. Those congregations will now be “in search”. That means a committee, if you’re like lovely Emerson in Houston it means a lot of money on mailers sent out to recruit just the right person.

If you’re large enough it probably means you'll have to find an interim religious educator and offer a moving package. It means a lot of trauma for the children and families. And while they may not be your big pledgers or volunteers right now, give it a decade, they will be. And they’ll remember. Or they’ll leave and never have a chance to be the big spenders. Consider other program staff time and adjustment. Consider the likely chance that you will not just be able to pluck someone from the congregation to “run the kids program” and do it as well as a professional religious educator with ties to the community and deep connections. There is a cost to not being a good employer. And it’s not all monetary. It’s a soul cost.

Say thank you. Say I’m sorry, I was wrong. Say we appreciate you.

But only if you really mean it.

So I guess the moral of the story is (if we were in person I’d point the microphone at you) live your Unitarian Universalist values. Treat people well, trust them and do what you should do.

There ya go! Oh, and some chocolate that appears on our desk every now and again, not a problem, not at all!

(edit 12-2 8am--links) note--this blog is in reaction to the loss of some good people to this good work we do, my congregation is of course, not the home of this unjust treatment.

LREDA Fall Con--NOLA!

I can't believe it's time to go to the LREDA Fall Conference, in NEW ORLEANS and I'm firmly planted here in Seattle! Arrgh! I've never seen the French Quarter, heard authentic New Orleans jazz live IN New Orleans. Never had a po'boy or fresh caught shrimp....never mind I couldn't eat that anyway. But I am missing it all, the whole world of Religious Educators who are either independently wealthy or haven't had their professional budgets slashed--are there!

Missing it.

I didn't have my professional budget slashed, not at all. My congregation is wonderful. I'm not going to NOLA because we have a big party at our (church) house this Sunday. We're dedicating our new home. UUA pres. the Rev. Dr. Peter Morales even coming to preach at our party. The bash was planned around the date that all the ministers will be in town for their annual retreat, although maybe not as many will come since the Rev. Dr. Bill Sinkford was just installed down the street at Portland First last weekend. Their party was bigger, but man...ours will have a lot of heart. And hopefully all the bathrooms in our new building will all work at the same time when the crowd shows. I'm disappointed that none of my colleagues (or maybe some who have been too busy to RSVP) are coming because they're all at the party down in the delta. But, man......I can't believe I'm not going!

See, the religious educators aren't just going down to New Orleans to bring the party. It's a justice event. It matches the mission of LREDA:

The center of our work as religious educators is belief in the transformative power of educating through our Unitarian Universalist faith.

There was even homework. And while I'd like to say that if we hadn't had the church year start up to end all church year start ups (hint....don't buy a new building at the same time you integrate a whole other church.....nope. Not unless it's the only way things will work like it was for us, well, then call me and I'll hold your hand thru it) I'd like to say that if we hadn't been so busy I would have done the homework even though I wasn't going. But I didn't and I probably wouldn't have. Part of this work we do as religious educators is the incessant putting out of fires and running the triage ministry, so I'd bet most of us didn't. I thought I should, and I hope that everyone going to NOLA did. I could see on facebook as colleagues read and watched their way through the prep that it was intense. But we are a learning community. We do what we do because we believe in the power of knowledge and learning. Even when it's hard.

LREDA is an anti-racist, anti-oppression, welcoming, professional organization open to liberal religious educators and those supportive of religious education. LREDA promotes the religious growth and learning of people of all ages and advocates for and supports religious educators and the field of liberal religious education.

I've heard that some ministers are advising the religious educators that they serve with not to join LREDA. That we're a "union" and will not offer them anything of value. I've heard it more than once. Granted, I sat at the LREDA booth at GA last summer and talked to a whole lot of wonderful ministers and presidents and search team chairs who really, really understood the power of a learning community for religious educators. But there are a few in every bunch, yes...even ministers. And no, LREDA isn't perfect, but honestly, from an insider like me I tell you the truth, it's damn good.

At the LREDA Fall Conference in New Orleans the attendees will be in the greater community. Serving. Learning. Learning how to be effective advocates. Learning how to bring the learning home. There will be sweat, and tears and probably some blood and many bag lunches.

These are the people who plan your programs for children and your Wednesday evenings for young adults and your Saturday morning for bible study. They run your Sunday mornings. These are people who often don't get a whole lot of face time in front of the congregation unless they have a passel of kids in front of them hearing a well planned story. These are people who work very hard and take this profession very seriously. They're out there working incredibly hard to understand a deep and painful justice or more accurately an injustice in this Western culture. (LREDA is a continental organization....go Canada!)

I am incredibly proud to be a LREDA member, a past board member and a fierce proponent for all religious educators working with all ages and stages of people to be members of this organization. We need this community. We all need our religious educators to participate in LREDA in whatever way possible--be it conferences, cluster gatherings, on-line meetings or study groups, and the LREDA list. Healthy religious educators = healthy congregations. No community = crispy, burnt out, and fried professionals.

Wish I could be there. I'm thankful for the great work of the people who planned the event. Thankful to the board and the integrity team and the good officers and everyone who is taking the time to GO!

Hope they post pictures. Hope they have a great time. Hope they learn a lot. And hope the bag lunches are amazing.

Amen.

http://www.lreda.org/

Proper Care and Feeding of Your Religious Educator

Having your very own Religious Educator can be a pleasure for the whole church family! Simply follow the Top 10 easy care steps outlined below for a healthy and happy Religious Educator:

10. Take your Religious Educator out for some fresh air every day. Long stays in the RE office surrounded by craft sticks and battery candles makes them frustrated and likely to drink pots of coffee directly from the carafe.

9. Bring your Religious Educator the entire list of craft supplies needed for the lesson to be taught well before Saturday night at 9:43 pm. While some stores are open this late, your Religious Educator is sure to be filling the slots of teachers who are sick and finding a great children's message for the outside speaker who "forgot" to prepare a story.

8. Remember, be careful not to pile huge loads of miscellaneous junk and building supplies in RE classrooms! Your Religious Educator still has that bad back from slipping on the stairs in the dark at the last youth group overnight on the way to brew coffee at 5:59 am! You don't want to aggravate that nasty injury!

7. When your Religious Educator begins screaming at the computer screen for the fifth time in 10 minutes, be sure to help recruit some volunteers to staff the game night or the spaghetti dinner as surely there have been six people who have changed their plans and can't help now that the weather forecast has taken a turn for the better!

6. During coffee hour, when the line to speak with your Religious Educator is winding out the door and past the parking lot, bring that trooper a nice cup of coffee! Remember, an IV drip for your Religious Educator's coffee just might be necessary given the constant need to answer questions, stop children from committing murder and plan meetings.

5. If you see your Religious Educator sit down and actually begin to enjoy the Sunday Service, be a dear and gently go over and shake them awake, the sleeplessness has surely taken over and you know they need to go check to be certain that the class full of the especially squirrley girls hasn't decided to make duct tape teacher traps instead of duct tape wallets.

4. To promote the longest possible length of employment for your Religious Educator, remember not to ask them what they do for their real career! This will make them grumble and wonder just what that Master's Level credentialing is all for, anyway!

3. Should your Religious Educator ask about taking a Sunday off, remember, don't say "But you just had a Sunday off last year!" Oh, no, no! Sit patiently by while the Religious Educator notices how much easier it is to just work on Sunday than to cover all those tasks.

2. If your Religious Educator begins to look crispy around the edges in September, October or November it's a sure sign of "START-UP BURN OUT!" Immediately remove all extra responsibilities from their four foot long "TO DO" list and bring the best chocolate available locally, administer in large doses. If smoke begins to come out of their ears, you might as well form a search committee, you've accidentally fried one.

And the number one thing to remember in the care and feeding of your Religious Educator:

1. Always, always hold a weekly meeting in the Fireside room overlooking the water--include the Religious Educator and other staff who love and care for the church and the children as much as they do. If you can, bring cookies. Laugh a little, cry a little and remind that Religious Educator that things that are worth doing are often pretty damn hard to do.

Amen.

Dear Rev. Morales,

Now I know that Rev. Dr. Peter Morales is a good guy. Not only does he understand deeply the position our faith is in right now to either grow or fade away, but he's actually a warm, kind friendly man. He really is a good guy.

But one little tiny thing he said to us when he was with my congregation a few weeks ago just rankled me. I'm not going to remember the exact wording but it was something about how as a movement our religious education programs had made the mistake of focusing on teaching children about being Unitarian Universalists and not giving them the experience of faith.

I wake up in the middle of the night and that little exchange sticks in my mind. What? Really? Would we say that across the movement all of our worship committees are focusing too much on spiritual development of Buddhism or the sermon topics are all too humanist?

Rev. Morales did say that in the church he served before he became the president of the UUA they had tried to have multi generational worship services, but that in tracking attendance and listening to feedback, they could see that these services were unpopular and not well attended by families with children.

So, in an effort to let go of this little sticking point, I am writing a little letter to Rev. Morales. It's something more a kin to a family discussion that happens over coffee after dinner. And maybe there's even pie for dessert. I'm not angry, I just want Peter to understand that the little things he says get picked up by lots of people and they show that little thing to each other and say "well see what the UUA president said?" "Hmmmmm, I DO see that" Be careful, Peter! And remember that whatever you see as our future as a movement, it's already happening out there in churches across the continent.

Dear Rev. Morales,

Just wanted to drop you a note on the topic we chatted about at WSUU a few weeks ago: faith development in our RE programs. I don't think this is true for my church. And here's why:

This week at Westside we're having our regular monthly Chalice Chapel and Service Sunday. This month's focus is on UUSC.

Our children begin worship in the sanctuary with the adults each week, and on the second Sunday they all come straight downstairs to a children's worship that we call "Chalice Chapel". This week we'll enter a darkened space with an altar and a chalice. When we're all sitting in a big circle we'll begin our chant "Gathered here in the mystery of the hour, gathered here in one strong body, gathered here in the struggle and the power, spirit draw near". We all know the words, we all know the hand motions. We know how to sing it, how to whisper it and how to beat the floor hard with a heartbeat rhythm and to yell it loud. Then we'll invite the children into prayer "we breathe in peace, we breathe out love" The children know body prayers, chants, hymns and how to listen to their quiet inner voice.

We will talk a little during our Chalice Chapel about how we are called, as Unitarian Universalists of faith, to work for peace in the world, and that really--peace comes from justice. But then we'll close by singing Rev. Meg Barnhouse's "All Will Be Well". The whole service will take about 7 minutes. Then we will move to our stations of work, the "Service is our prayer" work.

This week we'll make a huge heart with one of our favorite elders and during coffee hour we'll invite the adults to add sticky notes that tell how they are "Standing on the Side of Love". There will be a station for some kids to assemble the boxes for the Guest at Your Table kick off. We'll have a station to make a physical "guest at your table" so we can all visualize the person we're imagining hosting for the next month. We'll have a game to show how hard it is to move water from one spot to the next without spilling it. And we'll have a station showing the videos on youtube that UUSC has posted about human rights. The best thing about these stations is that at each an adult engages with the children who are ages 4-14. There's no formal lesson, but we all learn together.

So, it's not perfect. No. Sometimes kids run around a little. Sometimes people talk about their week instead of water rights. But it's a good thing. Our children all learn how we worship, they learn about what we believe and they get to put those beliefs into action. It makes our faith formation dynamic and real. I have fun. They have fun. We all laugh together. There have been Chalice Chapels, like the pet blessing last October that let us all cry together. We are a community.

Now, during the five services a year when we're all together; all the baby boomers and the millennials and the silent generation and the gen x-ers and the toddlers and the teens and tweens and the elders and the preschoolers, during those services we are finding that we like worshiping together. We're still learning, we've learned that a plastic cup full of legos might be fun, but it's too loud for worship. We've learned that we have to be careful about meeting everyone's needs. But we've learned that part of meeting everyone's needs is to sometimes sit quietly while another group is the focus for a few minutes. And what meets our needs is not always what you'd expect.

So, Rev. Morales, remember that when we talk about Unitarian Universalists we can almost never say "All". All Religious Education programs are not focusing on education alone. Just like you could never say "All ministers are preaching about...." or "All music leaders are forgetting to...." We who work with the children and youth and families are doing so much more than just cranking through lessons. It's happening all over the movement, this dynamic faith formation. And it's really working.

So hey, thanks for stepping up and being our president. I know you get all kinds of passionate people just like me who take issue with one little thing you say. I know one of the people who I eat dinner with every night is not happy with your thoughts about youth and the "hanging out" article. But we appreciate your passion for this faith and we hope that you appreciate ours, too. Together we can be the faith we are meant to be. Thanks. Really, thanks.

Blessings!

Kari

A Found Sunday!

I am supposed to be just outside of Washington DC right now, watching the Super Bowl Commercials with the LREDA (Liberal Religious Educators Association) board. Or not watching the Super Bowl Commercials because of the boycott. But, I'm not in DC. Our LREDA Board meeting was called off. Yesterday morning Anne Bancroft, the LREDA president decided that the massive snow storm in the mid-atlantic yesterday made it too dangerous for us all to try to get there.

So, I'm not hanging out with my LREDA peeps. And there will be no visioning discussion and no plan for 2020. At least not until we can reschedule.

But, wait guess what DID happen?!

A Sunday off! A Sunday, and I'm off! No work, on a Sunday!

HOLY SUNDAY Batman, a Sunday off.

I love my job, I love the children and the families I serve and everyone in the congregation. I love when my feet are burning at the end of a Sunday because I was up and down the three flights of stairs a dozen times. I love soup lunch Sundays and the times we have popcorn covering a 20 square feet of floor. I love holding the new babies and playing duplos with the toddlers and leading worship. I love it all.

But a Sunday off is a grand gift.

Guess what I did with my gem, my precious day?

I went to church!

But not my church. I went up to University Unitarian Church, the "high" church in Seattle--at least the high church for UUs. It was the youth Sunday, the week that the youth group puts on the service. Since my oldest son has been going to youth group up there this year, he was a part of the service, and I was going to miss it not only because I work on Sundays but because I had planned to be flying off to DC.

But I got to go to the youth service! And I got to see my son tell the "national" segment of their service about community. He told the story of the Unitarian and Universalist youth and how they joined forces to become LRY, or Liberal Religious Youth, nearly a decade before the official merger of Unitarians and Universalists, and by the way, at the same time that the Unitarian and Universalist Religious Educators joined forces as LREDA.

The youth service was great, lots of readings, a skit, music and of course, dancing with feather boas to "We Are Family" as a postlude. I was certainly spiritually enriched!

Then I went to see my middle son play soccer. We thought that after 11 years of playing soccer that it might be his final game ever, but they won so it looks like they advance in the playoffs and he'll play at least one more game. I may miss his very last game if it happens on a Sunday, but at least I got to see him score a goal in this game.

I'm thankful for the found Sunday and a chance to have a day filled with family and fun. Now we're watching the Super Bowl commercials (a dad from our homeschool school did the commercial with Chevy Chase) and sitting on the couch and just hanging out. It's a good thing, this "day off" thing.

I might just have to try this again, someday...

Coming up short.....everywhere

Ever have one of those days you just wish you could erase? Like Dumbledore plucks memories out of his brain and stores them in the pensive, but today I'd smash the pensive as soon as the memory was out.

Crash!

OK, it wasn't quite that bad. I had a lovely daytime meeting with my colleagues. Complete with a baby blessing-way and a "white elephant" exchange with a "yankee swap". But no one stole anything...except the cookies someone WANTED stolen, totally doesn' t count. I came home with a lovely Scandaniavian themed box that someone didn't want but I love. And my colleagues hugged me. And they told me what I was being crazy about and what I wasn't being crazy about. Don't you wish we had panels we could go to for all parts of our lives where we could say "OK, am I out of line here or is this for real?" and people you love and respect would TELL you? Oh yeah. I'd love that. "Thumbs up? Or thumbs down." I wish. But for today, this was good.

But I let down my child. Big time. He's been asking me for a couple of weeks if we could make some Norwegian themed thing for his International Club meeting. It gets him extra credit and class room "cred" as being a good cook. I love this! He's usually all about his Korean heritage.I was so excited that he wanted to do something from my side! It was originally on the calendar for last Friday. We knew that date wasn't right, but I had the new date wrong. I thought that tomorrow, THURSDAY was the baking day. That we'd make homemade lasagne (a request from the youngest) and mess around with the krumkake all night while we listened to Christmas carols and drank hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Nope. International Club is tomorrow. Thursday. We had to bake today. But, today I had the fudge to prepare at 6AM for the musical theater bake sale at the little homeschool school. And there was the White Elephant gift to wrap at 7AM, and three lunches to make before 7:30AM, and an hour and a half drive because of the traffic to get to my meeting. And then there was the Advanced Drama mandatory parent meeting right after my meeting. And a meeting with the minister who is my boss of course, and a board meeting for the church I work for. When was there time to make this cookie of our great grandmothers and have this wonderful, cultural bonding time?

Yep. In the two seven minute windows of time we had. During the first seven minutes we found the frame for the krumkake iron. But...no iron. No insert. Nope. Where the heck did the iron go? Oh well, doesn't matter. Wasn't happening.

Spritz? How about that. We could find almost enough parts to assemble that cookie contraption. We made half a pan during the second seven minute stretch and flew out the door to bring boys to Tae Kwon Do practice and then I had to drive like a mad woman up I-5, trying to make my meeting on time. This, in particular, would not have been a good time to bail on these meetings for a variety or reasons. Not now. No way.

I texted home at 7:30 "how r spritz going?" and heard nothing back. "OK, must be going all right".

On the way home at 9:15, not 9:00--I left before my meeting was over, really I did, I called home. Not going all right. All homework was delayed, cookies were a mess. No one was happy. Things were falling apart fast.

Damn.

This is when I hate that my job is weird hours and "must make" evenings. I hate that sometimes I have to put work before family. Hate it. I hate that my weekends and holidays are dominated by work. And they hate it, my family, they hate it. I came home to ugliness.

I love my work, but I really wish that there were two of me. In hindsight? Yeah, I should have skipped my daytime meeting. I should have stayed up late after feeding homeless teens last night and done the prep for today. I should not have gotten a sinus infection that makes me not sleep for days and days. I should have taken a job at IKEA where they are closed on Christmas Eve. But I didn't. I chose this. And I love what I do. But there are days. Man, there are days when I wish it didn't take such commitment to do this good work.

I wish.

The Church Office--Facebook

I'm working from my office today. No, not actually my church office. We share three little rooms in the windowless, horribly stuffy top floor of a Masonic Temple. I have a child size desk that everyone rifles through and loads up with all kinds of detritus from the services. It's not really an office.

My office is really a lap top and a few three ring binders. And facebook.

Yes, facebook. It's fabulous! I post a status message that says something like "Blergh, what the heck anyway?"

And sure enough, a few minutes later my friends holler over the cubicle wall "hang in there" "hugs!" "send it my way, I'll take care of it". But of course there is no cube and there is no wall. They're calling over facebook from the east coast and the south and from Canada and from the next town over.

I love facebook!

It makes me feel like I'm not all alone! What a wacky thing. Facebook as collegial support!

A Shift in our Congregations

It was really an honor to sit with both Peter Morales, our UUA president and with Harlan Limpert, vice president of Ministries and Congregational Support at the recent fall conference. Both of them are so kind and warm--Peter even pulled out his blackberry to tell me where his son lives, to see if it's close to my church. (It's not!) I had a fabulous conversation with Harlan, talking about his home church, First Universalist in Minneapolis, where my brother was married.

As we ate dinner and talked more about our faith and it's future, I was able to share my view from our spot on the hill in West Seattle. I think we might have a unique situation, we're an urban congregation with a neighborhood focus. It's urban and family centered, and over the years we've gained a reputation for serving families especially well. We've grown from 23 kids my first year to 85 or so five years later and growing still. Yes, even with no classrooms and no building and no grass and no playground. It's the people, of course. Our people are deeply committed to the children, youth and families.

But it's more than that. A few years ago, I noticed a trend. Many of our new families kind of brushed me back when I started to explain Unitarian Universalism. "Oh, I grew up UU, I know what the religion is about." It was usually one of the parents, sometimes a male, sometimes a female. Immediately we'd have a connection--'remember the box series?" "the filmstrips" "AYS?" we grew up with the same things, with Unitarian Universalist things.

I started asking visitors "are you seekers, looking for a faith, or are you UUs, looking for a home?"

Sometimes I think we're kind of the canary in the coal mine at my church. Can we serve these returning UUs well? Can we speak to them without alienating them? Do we give them a book that explains Unitarian Universalism when they join our churches? Do we make them attend classes that explain our faith? We are learning. We're doing better. And we're growing because of it. Growing with people who already have a solid formation of Unitarian Universalist faith.

And this is what I got to tell Harlan Limpert as we ate our dinner and chatted about our beloved community. He listened. He took notes. He asked questions. This is the best part of serving on the LREDA board, a chance to share my story with people who need to hear it. To sing my canary song! It's not dark and gloomy and dangerous here. In fact, I think maybe we've found the path to the sun. We can bring our lost family members back, make them welcome. Expect them. Be ready.

Tweet!

The Dreaded Con-flu: Top 10 True things about being sick

A couple dozen of my closest colleagues and I have come home from the LREDA Fall Conference and promptly been put to bed. We have fevers and really sore throats. Our lungs hurt and of all weird things--itch! It's the dreaded...

Con-flu! So in my addled state I am writing the Top Ten True Things about being SICK

10. I can watch a whole season of 30 Rock using the instant option on Netflix. Excellent.

9. Having already been gone a week, only an angelic spouse will step up to all the cleaning and cooking alone again. I've ordered a halo for mine.

8. Being sick makes me stupid. What? Oh yeah, can't follow a thought from step one to, wait where do we start again?

7. Coming home with fast deadlines and an illness that makes me stupid seems like it could jeopardize fabulous GA programming out of LREDA. But it won't.

6. When coffee tastes awful, I must really be sick.

5. Just because there was one confirmed case of H1N1 at the conference doesn't mean I have to quarantine myself, does it? Does it? OK, yes it does. ((waves at children))

4. Garlic works on the virus, AND the quarantine.

3. I don't have time to be sick. Why is it we always get sick when we don't have time to be sick? When do we ever have time to be sick? Are these related??!

2. A little dog curled under the covers must have medicinal properties.

1. The number one thing about being sick with "con-flu"? I'm so grateful it hit after I was at HOME!

LREDA Board Meets with Peter Morales

LREDA FALL CON 2010

Where is the 2010 LREDA Fall Conference gonna be?

Hmmm......not quite sure.

Let's see.....I think maybe there's fabulous music. And you know....Jambayala!

And hey! Maybe even some service work! Yep. Oh yeah.

THE LIBERAL RELIGIOUS EDUCATORS ASSOCIATION FALL CONFERENCE 2010....in

New Orleans.

October 20-26. Do Not Miss It!

LREDA, Beyond Belief

What an amazing day. I had a morning with people who serve their faith by coordinating their regional areas as LREDA Chapter conveners. We talked about how we can work together and where to go next. Very cool.

Then I met with UUA staff members from the congregational life staff group. That was a very interesting conversation. And a very good lunch!

Then after three great hours of working at the registration table and meeting many people, really, like 200 people from the US and Canada, we had our dinner and opening.

I loved the homily from Mr. Barb Greeve. It spoke to so much of what I feel as one of the first from the generation who grew up in this new faith called Unitarian Universalism. He rocks.

And the the Rev. Dr. Thandeka came up and talked to us.

Can you even see her way up there? I was so tired, I was standing at the back of the room hoping for a really fast get away.

But there was no getting out of this one. She told us that really, we have the tools to change this world. We've always had them, right there. The big red button. Just PUSH it! Come ON! Love. Love beyond belief. Beyond Belief.

OK. Got it. If this is 15 minutes of Thandeka, what is a whole morning and Peter Steinke and also phenomenal music going to feel like? Note to self: head may explode.

A very fun night in Providence

The fun thing about working really, really hard for days is that when you get to kick back a little, it's really, really fun!

And then you might get to go see an amazing church that's been around for a reeeaaaaly long time. On the west coast I don't think we have any churches that are this old--except maybe missions.

First Unitarian Church of Providence was gorgeous! The pews actually have little doors that latch from back in the days when you bought your pew, or a little later when you (scandalously!) rented your pew.

The pulpit that blogger James Ford preaches from every Sunday is a whole flight of stairs up. A whole little flight of stairs! Cool. It was beautiful to see, and lovely to stand in the space with my dear LREDA colleagues! What a great day.

And there are more days to come....

LREDA Board meeting--day two!

We had a great day today at our Liberal Religious Educator's board meeting. It was day two of our time together. We know each other a little more, it's really easy to laugh at silly things and we're pretty comfortable together.....kind of like people who might be shipwrecked in an island. Oh no not really! It's a fabulous group.

This morning we met with Mark Hicks, McLean Professer at Meadville-Lombard school for the ministry (one of our two Unitarian Universalist seminaries). He came to talk with us about inclusive ministries and LREDA. He may be a big fancy pants professor, and of course, he is. And he's wicked smart. But he is also so very kind. It felt so safe to talk about racism and marginalized groups and opression with him leading us through it. Wow, that's not easy. I realized I had some anxiety about it coming into this training. The last time I attened anti-racism, anti-opression, multi-culturalism training (ar/ao/mc in UU alphabet soup) I could hardly get myself out of bed the next morning I felt so much shame and guilt. But this time I could almost feel hope for our whole association.

Then in the afternoon we got to spend time with the LREDA Integrity Team, Helen Bishop, Lynn Sabourin, Pat Kahn and Jenn McAdoo. This is a group that does a lot of things, but the most visible this week will be that they help all of us as religious educators remember just what it takes to really inclusive of each other. This is simple stuff, but it's not things that we all remember to do. Things like: keeping the aisles clear so that wheeling people can easily get through. And things like: remembering to invite people to rise in body or spirit. Things like: being sure that there are restrooms that are easy for transgendered folks to use. Simple stuff in theory, but not always so in practice in a big hotel with 260 people. One of the best things I got to do in preparation for this board meeting was to read up on the history of this group. I love history. It's really all just about hearing people's stories. If you've not read it, chase the link and check it out. Interesting stuff.What a committed group of people.


I really enjoyed getting to spend a little (too little) time with them. But we got to have ice cream and desserts to celebrate a birthday in the room, and then after our work together was done, we came into a circle and sang. Wow. Three part haromony! How totally cool is that? Very cool, that's what it is, very cool!

LREDA Board Meets for 14 hours straight!

OK, OK! We didn't really meet for fourteen hours straight through! There were breaks. And we picked a restaurant for dinner that included a nice walk through downtown Providence. But we did start at 9AM and end at 11 PM. It was a great meeting though. How fabulous it is to work with people who can think deeply about what will serve a huge, diverse group of people. And still conspire to grab every "planter" in the place that just happens to look like a chalice for the opening worship on Friday? Great group of people.

We reshuffled some responsibilities to make things a little more streamlined. Looked over re visioning that was done three years ago to check in and see how we're moving forward. And we had all the reports today. That was an awful lot of information. Wow. But the really cool thing is that in represents a whole lot of work from a whole lot of folks. Dedicated, brilliant, giving folks. We are a lucky group of professionals. Beautiful people all.

And the hotel is gorgeous. There are little things, though, to tie in the hotel's history as a Masonic Temple. Given that my congregation meets in a Masonic Temple, its a little weird! Good, but weird!

LREDA Fall Con.....just getting here!

The chase to catch up was swift and crafty this week. Just as I thought I might finally have gotten nearly caught up, taa daaa, another something to-do popped up. But just like a good old fashioned “whack-a-mole” game, I handled all the pop-ups. We celebrated one birthday early and one birthday late and I was nice and early for my flight this morning. I’m used to flying “stand-by” so this whole holding a boarding pass and getting on when my zone was called was pretty amazing. I like knowing that I’m going to make the flight!

As I settled in for the long flight to Philadelphia, I chatted with my seat mate. Yes, she was connecting as well, headed for Florida. Why? For a master’s synchronized swim meet? No way! I swam synchro in high school! And then I coached for 10 years! Yes, I did! Funny, small, weird world! Who else would understand about putting steaming hot knox gelatin in your hair and what it means when the technical routine includes a front walkover and a heron? Weird small, itty bitty world.

The Philadelphia airport was lovely with fun live music and decent lo mein. My flight to from Philly was great, my good friend whisked me away from the airport and we spent a couple of hours catching up. After a little time in my room with my wonderful roomie, I'm ready to turn in. It feels kind of like today never actually happened, and still was packed full of tons of things. All good. All happy.

Dick and Jane go to LREDA Fall

I love my job. I get to work with a great minister, and a wise congregation. I get to hold fresh babies and chat with surly 13-year-olds (oh, wait, that one is my son.....) but the biggest reason I love my job?

Colleagues!

Yep, colleagues who write things like this fabulous blog:

Dick and Jane got to LREDA Fall

If you are going to the Liberal Religious Educators Association's Fall Conference this is a great primer on what to expect, even if you've been to lots of them, it's still great information about the local culture. If you know someone who is going to LREDA Fall Con, send them to this blog. If you just like to read funny stuff, this is a great blog! My favorite post is about workshops.

"All of the workshops will be good, so if you don't get a seat in one, just move on to the next. It'll be G-d's way of telling you that you need to learn something else.

If you don't believe in an personal-interventional-type G-d, then it's probably just your fault for being late."

Love it!

And oh holy mother of all travel, I'd better at least start thinking about what to pack! LREDA board meets Wednesday at 9 sharp, and I have to fly all the live long day on Tuesday to get there!