Drama Trauma

My little homeschool school has two drama programs for the first time. We've had improv classes before and musical theater class. We've had little plays with the cd that has all the parts and the kids would listen to over and over and over and over again until everyone in the family room knew all of the songs. All of them.

This year we have a musical theater production of Seussical Jr. This is twice as long as anything we've ever done. We had try outs and a team of people who cast it in the fall. We've built amazing sets and set pieces drawing on the talents of our graphic artists and engineers. Our costumes look to be done by professional designers. And our advanced drama class is doing a production that is all dialogue and it's an hour and half long, it has beautiful sets painted by one of the actors, lovely costumes and a dedicated team of sound designers.

My youngest is in both plays. My oldest son is the assistant director for Seussical, and though he denies it my middle son is the assistant director for the Sleeping Beauty and the Beast performance and he does stage crew for Seussical.
(Horton and Gertrude....you should see these two play "sniper" against each other with nerf dartguns......not so much this affectionate)


There's been DRAMA around our drama. We need microphones. Some of our kids are little, with little voices and the places we preform are big. Even though we're all in the same school district, we can't use their wireless mics. We might damage them and they are super expensive. So we've been fundraising all year. Soup lunch after bulb sale after coupon book after bake sale. Super expensive. When you put children and money and opportuntities together you get near people's senstive spots, near their hearts. Tempers have flared. Meetings have been less than pleasant. It's a he said-she said-I heard-who said mess.

But here's the thing; we must not be too dysfunctional. There was a big talent show marathon day with an outing afterward, and hey.....we all got along. Yesterday was a four hour practice for one show followed by a three hour practice for the other. We just compared anxiety dreams and ran for coffee. No trauma, and (snort) no drama!

I think this is what living in community is. We all care, we feel strongly and sometimes speak strongly. And then we move on. I guess this is healthy, loving community. Good stuff for our kids to see.



(JoJo and the Cat, who will be at a birthday party later today with Horton and Gertrude......we are lucky, and check it out--of these four leads, three are mixed race. We really love our school!)

Five Good Reasons for Spending a Lovely Week In Oregon this Summer

Religious Education Leadership School is happening this summer! Been thinking about going? Sending your youth advisor, your Adult RE director? Wonder if the money is worth it? It is.

Here's why:

1. Religious Education Leadership School taught me about the systems that do exist in churches and the systems that can exist in churches. I had read pretty extensively about systems theory prior to RELS but the way it is presented and the context it's given have allowed me to have a much deeper understanding of how my congregation actually functions and how it could potentially function. I can see a difficult situation coming and work to change things so we have less trauma.

2. At RELS I learned about being a leader. Now I've always been a leader. I was even a team captain at patrol captain camp when I was 11! But I learned about stepping into this role and about the implications of enacting that leadership in our congregational community. I notice that as well as the LREDA leadership positions I've been asked to fill in the years since RELS, I feel more comfortable in my role as a church leader and a professional Religious Educator. That confidence has allowed me to take big steps in our program that I'm not sure I would have taken. Good steps, things that have helped us grow by 15 more children in those two years (Like hiring teachers and creating a 2-3 year old class)

3. I made continental connections in the Religious Education community. While I appreciate my PNWD colleagues a great deal, to know people from all over North America expanded my understanding of how RE can work. It expanded my base of colleagues to reach out to with questions and for advice. And I learned just from hearing how things are done in Florida and Rhode Island and Colorado. This doesn't sound like a big thing, but you can compare it to being a well traveled person. You don't really understand about other cultures until you've been in them, and you're a better person for it.

4. Learning about Theology, Communication Skills, Anti-Racism/Anti-Oppression/Multi-Culturalism (AR/AO/MC) and UU History. It was almost like a Renaissance Module on each topic, with truly excellent faculty presenting.

5. The last thing that I always get from time with colleagues is renewal and inspiration. This is vital in keeping us from leaving the profession of Religious Education. Helen Bishop, the dean of the school, uses music as her spiritual practice. At my RELS we all sang all the time--and made a cd of the songs we learned. I listen to that cd when I have decided that I'm resigning and that someone else is just going to have to finish the year, or start the year, or continue the year. Or figure out who is bringing flowers. Or recruit volunteers to teach or bring soup or whatever! It brings me straight back into beloved community. I remember that I love my work, and that it is really all worth every tough moment. I'm so thankful for that touchstone. This deep experience of learning and sharing and growing is much more powerful than GA, or a Renaissance Module or other things I've been to (I've not been to Star Island RE Week or The Mountain). The work we do is difficult work, and I am not sure I'd have stayed without the sustained week long experience of RELS.

For more information check out the PNWD website.

Wild Fantasies

Bacon. Maybe it's all the talk about Swine Flu. Or all the bad, and I mean really bad Piglet jokes going around on facebook and email. Maybe it's being busier than I even knew a person could be.

I want bacon.

I've been a vegetarian for about six, no seven years. I really don't miss meat. Sometimes, like a few months back when I ordered clam chowder at Spud, I accidentally eat bacon bits or something, it's fine. I'm not tyrannical about not eating meat. I just don't want to, mostly.

Except for now.

I think it's a microwave splatter that keeps getting warmed and wafts it's fatty pigness all over my house at the very worst times. A few months ago I started "circular" shopping. Hitting all the really good deals in town, finding them in the circulars. (btw, they come on Sunday, Tuesday and Saturday here in Seattle) I sometimes make a meal out of what's on sale. If I can get two pounds of bacon for five bucks, well then I'm making a breakfast-dinner. The last bacon I bought was maple brown-sugar bacon. Let me tell you, it's evil. We cooked it all up, and despite my warnings about super nitrates, I think someone (no one who actually lives here of course or at least not that they will admit) warmed some up in the micorwave. I think it might have splattered. And with my husband working out of town and my work and school and kid schedule maybe housework is something that other people get to do and all. So it smells like maple-y bacon every time someone uses the microwave.

Not good.

I have a friend who was a vegetarian for years. When she was studying to be a physician, the more she learned, the less she wanted to eat meat. Years went by. She worked through pregnancy and birth and years of breastfeeding as a veggie. She was committed. Until the morning that her mother-in-law made bacon. Now at her house you can have a hamburger that her husband made for the kids and they didn't want. It's free range, it's hormone free. But it's cow. They're omnivores again. All because of.....

bacon.

Maybe I need a month with a commune that has no meat and no facebook. Maybe I need to slow things down (HOW EXACTLY!?) maybe I need my husband to find a job that isn't this one or at least isn't out of town this much. What I really do not need though, is of course....

bacon.

Crispy, sizzling, hot and maple-y bacon. Not at all. Please! No bacon.

Lilacs in Bloom

Today began sunny and lovely and by the evening we were making a cozy fire and brewing cups of hot tea.

But while the sun was still pushing through the clouds I was outside with our little friend who is very nearly two now. Peter was with me and we were just gladly following the little one around. She's so sweet and grown up now. I can hardly believe how big she's getting. We found some pretty flowers blooming near the front door of our school. I lifted her up and we picked a branch. We smelled them, " 'mell 'em?" "mama, 'or mama" so we picked another branch for mama. And as we turned she held them out to Peter. Peter made his "cute baby" face and leaned forward to smell them.

Peter's face went completely blank. He looked at me and I could see what he was seeing. Until he was almost 5 and we moved Peter spent hours climbing our huge lilac bush, way up into the tops of the branches. Through his expression, I could see the leaves in the breeze that he would see from the old lilac tree. I could hear the neighborhood kids calling and laughing. And I could smell the lilacs.

Funny how a scent can take you right back and put you in the body you had when you knew that smell.

I miss my four-year-old Peter. He misses his lilac tree.

Ten Real Things You Can Do About the Flu:

Our young ones are being greeted at school with people in masks, squirting 'hanitizer' on their hands, they're hearing about a dangerous illness that has something to do with swine--aren't those pigs? Their parents are making them wash their hands ALL the time. Clearly, something is up.

A friend shared a story from her childhood, her mother told her that the croaking out in the pond was coming from frogs.....and my friend was convinced that it was one really huge frog out there in the pond making all that noise. She was terrified! What we adults see as facts and precautions can be scary for our young ones.

How can we help our young ones feel safe? How do we walk the line, not inciting fear but acknowledging feelings?

Here's a start:

1) Teach your child how to wash their hands to get the most germs off: lots of soap, warm water, and rubbing the suds on your hands for as long as it takes to sing the ABCs. (My grandmother used to say make the suds so thick it looks like white kitten paws.)

2) Do you have a family emergency plan? Use this as a good excuse to make that plan. Taking action empowers us and a confident parent helps a child feel safe.

3) Keep family routines as constant as possible. Don't have family routines and rituals? Create some!

4) Be informed! Check out the CDC website and your local Health Department website.

5) Listen. Play with your kids whether that means play-doh or X-Box, spend time together and listen for clues to what's going on with their inner lives.

6) Laugh. Watch funny movies, play Mad Libs, buy silly string. Laughter relieves stress.

5) Talk. Get support from friends and family and your faith home if you are having big fears about a pandemic.

6) Make it fun. Watch this video, play dracula sneeze or sneeze-in-your-shirt!

7) For older kids, try this comic book about pandemic flu.

8) Buy cool tissue holders and send kids out the door with a couple of loose tissues tucked into pockets.

9) ....and you can make funky 'hanitizer' bottles, too. (thanks Little Birdie Secrets!)

10) And the most important thing? Hold your kids close, or as close as those teenagers will let you and let them know that we adults will do everything we can to keep them safe!


(Cross posted at Westside UU Congregation Religious Education)

Adopted the Movie

Great movie, showing at Wing Luke Asian Museum May 9th at 1:00.

Funky Alternative Life

I went to the zoo yesterday. I had been so touched that my 12 and 14-year-old kids wanted to go to the zoo with me on a group field trip with our homeschool-school. That is until one of the 8th graders pointed out that they'd be missing classes at school! Hunh. I'm a little slow, sometimes.

But it wasn't really only about missing classes. It was about being outside, and spending a day with friends. And checking in with the animals.

I spent the day walking the longest "thank you" prayer I've ever known. Our school is a K-12 parent partnership program with about 100 kids total enrollment. We're homeschoolers. We have no idea how to walk in a line, we walk in small clumps heads bowed together to chat, or giggle wildly or push and shove, depending on our stage in life. Many of us have known each other for years and years. We trust each other, we lean on each other. The kids know that even though that little five-year-old isn't their brother, he's a friend's brother and he might need a boost to really see the hippos. The boys and girls talk and laugh together. The older kids hold doors for the younger kids and no toddler ever tires a mom's arms becuse there are a dozen middle school boys and girls who are happy to carry her, too.

Lunches are shared. Water is shared. Hand sanitizer is shared. Someone starts talking like Jack Sparrow and soon the whole crew of kids have cheezy english accents.

Yesterday was the last day school groups could buy the group tickets for the zoo. There were dozens and dozens of busses lined up outside the zoo. And for me it was a stark contrast. I watched our kids and I watched those groups. Our adults had the same orange "Chaperone" stickers and our kids had the same drive to see everything. We had a bigger age range of course, from our newest little brother who is probably about six-weeks-old to a group of eigth graders who will be 15 in the fall. But the difference in the groups was stark. Yes, our moms and dads were frustrated with the kids who climbed up on the rocks again after being told to please get down, it wasn't safe. And yes our kids sometimes ordered each other around. But the redirection was gentle, our patience supported by the group of parents we happened to be walking with just then. We were there with our community.

I've always felt lucky to have been able to homeschool. But frankly, it's been a commitment that I take seriously enough to make it work. I want my kids to have just this. And if it meant I had to work full time swing shift, well then I did. If it means working 20 hours a week and taking no vacations and driving 12-year-old cars, that's fine. It's so worth it to have days like our day at the zoo.

The icing on the cake happened in the primate area. I was hanging back, watching six kids watch the animals and I noticed--no white kids. All our kids were mixed race. I was with two good women friends who are both white, but our kids were white and Asian and black and native because we're all in mixed marriages. I smiled.

I am happy to live this funky alternative life with it's funky alternative church and our funky alternative school and our funky alternative days. I'm still smiling.