Oh what a lovely morning! The one thing about the clunky dark building that we rent? We know what our church is about; the people. Our walls, our rooms, our core--it's the people. I love our people.
I have been trying to keep a practice of doing a UU History lesson "Story for All Ages" on the first Sunday of the month. So to coordinate that with the sermon and somehow with the theme of the Chalice Chapel downstairs and the Service Sunday project gets a little hectic! Today I told the story of Lewis Latimer it tied the Passover story of escape (his parents escaped from slavery) and the search for light and truth (he invented the part of a lightbulb that let's it burn more than three times). But it didn't tie into the Environmental Action pillar we're on with the kids. Oh well!
I love leading the Chalice Chapel, our little monthly children's worship time. Today I created a lush altar with primroses and little pea starts and candles and chimes. I added my chalice banner and our Children's Chalice. We lit our chalice with the worlds from the Tapestry of Faith series "We are Unitarian Universalists, with minds that think, hearts that love, and hands that are ready to serve". Then we sang "Come Sing a Song With Me" zipping in other things like "come hang out with me"! I promised them we'd sing the version my family sings: so Ryan and I sang "Come do laundry with me, come do laundry with me, come do laundry with me that I might have clean shirts". Yep, that's a real story from our family. I heard belly laughs from the littler ones over that one. Joys and sorrows were good, sharing real things. Then I read this little reading:
The seed turns to shoot
The shoot turns to plant
The plant grows a bean
The bean is picked
And eaten
and turns into YOU!
We did a nice tangerine meditation, thinking about the tangerine momma-the tree and where the tree lived, the rain on the tree, what happened in the breeze. The bloom that grew to our little tiny tangerine, which grew ripe and fat and got picked and delivered to the store and then.....to us! I would have loved to have local food, but this was good, too.
To end we each took a bean seed in a quiet bean communion. I hope we'll all go home and plant our seeds and remember our lovely community and how we're all a part of each other.
Then the kids did their service work. We made kits for natural cleaning. Vinegar, baking soda, rosemary infused water with borax (YES, real rosemary plants!) lemons. Good stuff. I got to sit with a few little girls and read stories, even one about Rachel Carson. One four-year-old asked if I could come over for a play date.
I can't think of one thing I'd rather do. Not one.
Now the sun is out, and I'm going to go put those primroses from the altar into my garden and plant the pea starts I have left--many went home with loved ones at church. And I'm going to plant a nice circle of beans from our bean communion. All summer it will remind me of the precious circle of children, youth and adults that I was blessed to be a part of today.
And I will look forward to my play date.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Live Blogging from GA Youth Staff!
Which, if you were to make it an acronym would be G.A.Y.S.! Here.
Good thoughts on the change in UU University and it's impact on the schedule.
Good thoughts on the change in UU University and it's impact on the schedule.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Plans for General Assembly--from the Youth
Did you know....
...that there is fantastic youth programming at GA?
...that youth can and do serve as delegates at GA?
...if there is no money to send youth from your congregations, scholarships are available?
...that my son Michael serves as the FUNTIMES Manager? (It's means something fancy, but basically comes down to facilitating the youth who serve as delegates--he knows Robert's Rules, and the format for getting things done at the business sessions and decodes it all for the youth. Part of what he's learned is a formal process for coming to consensus. How cool is that?)
And he's live blogging from the Pre-site meeting in Salt Lake City. Part of what the youth do at their presite meeting is to go out and find the cheap places to eat, the interesting things to see and the ways to get around the city. Good information for all of us who are going to GA this year.
...that there is fantastic youth programming at GA?
...that youth can and do serve as delegates at GA?
...if there is no money to send youth from your congregations, scholarships are available?
...that my son Michael serves as the FUNTIMES Manager? (It's means something fancy, but basically comes down to facilitating the youth who serve as delegates--he knows Robert's Rules, and the format for getting things done at the business sessions and decodes it all for the youth. Part of what he's learned is a formal process for coming to consensus. How cool is that?)
And he's live blogging from the Pre-site meeting in Salt Lake City. Part of what the youth do at their presite meeting is to go out and find the cheap places to eat, the interesting things to see and the ways to get around the city. Good information for all of us who are going to GA this year.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy families
There was a moment of darkness early this week. "Is this worth it?" "Why do we work so hard?" "Who really cares anyway?"
It was bad. I looked for jobs at Starbucks. I thrashed around and washed dishes like they deserved some wicked punishing.
It's passed, I talked to people who know that I don't really mean it, that this is part of the work we do.
But man, I wish I could see into a crystal ball and know which kids are going to show up on any given Sunday. And if only one is going to show up? Well, I wish I could call the dedicated teacher for that class early in the week and tell them to relax, not to buy a box of donuts, not to prepare an amazing lesson, not to give thought and time and prayer to a group of kids who just are not going to be there. Maybe I should work on my psychic powers.
This is the hardest part of being a Religious Educator. Keeping the faith that some people do care, and that a spiritual home is important for children, even if they come only once in a while.
Ours is a culture of power programming for kids. This week on the LREDA list we were talking about how you deal with games and lessons and recitals being actually scheduled on Sunday mornings. How do we plan? How do we know what families want and need? Church can't just be a drive thru where you order one unit of world religions and two sides of spiritual development. It takes the commitment of a whole family, it takes a whole family wide understanding of the role of a spiritual life in the development of a child. Yes, soccer and swim team are important--and my children have missed church for these things, too. Yes. But our families are pulled so hard in so many directions, what are they supposed to do? It's critical to have some down time as a family, too. What if Sunday is the only day that isn't packed full, and what if Sunday is crammed full from dawn to dusk, too?
I'm used to counter culture living. We had a family bed, years of breastfeeding, homeschooling and were radical liberals--we only really fit in with our UU church homeschooling group! So telling a swim coach that we wouldn't be coming to Sunday meets was not too big a deal, until my son didn't qualify for the yearly regional meet in some of his best events because those qualifying races were always held on Sundays. And premier soccer simply never takes "no" on required practices--sometimes we skipped anyway. Eventually my kids backed down from these sports that took their lives away from them. But for most families it's extremely difficult.
My goal this year was to help our families realize that "our religion isn't taught, it's caught" and that to really have children absorb all the good stuff about being Unitarian Universalist, families have to show up on Sundays. The dark part is that even when they really get that, life still pulls hard, and most of them come less than half the time. Maybe it's our substandard programming, but I really don't think so--our programming really is excellent. Maybe it's the nasty building we meet in, could be. I know it's not the teachers, they are dedicated, top quality, dear folks who commit for a whole year to the kids. I really think it's just the pace of life. As we're spinning and spinning through our week, it's hard to gear up and get the energy to get the family to church on Sunday mornings. It's just really hard.
Simplify, Simplify, Simplify. (H.D. Thoreau). Maybe this is next year's theme. Maybe.
It was bad. I looked for jobs at Starbucks. I thrashed around and washed dishes like they deserved some wicked punishing.
It's passed, I talked to people who know that I don't really mean it, that this is part of the work we do.
But man, I wish I could see into a crystal ball and know which kids are going to show up on any given Sunday. And if only one is going to show up? Well, I wish I could call the dedicated teacher for that class early in the week and tell them to relax, not to buy a box of donuts, not to prepare an amazing lesson, not to give thought and time and prayer to a group of kids who just are not going to be there. Maybe I should work on my psychic powers.
This is the hardest part of being a Religious Educator. Keeping the faith that some people do care, and that a spiritual home is important for children, even if they come only once in a while.
Ours is a culture of power programming for kids. This week on the LREDA list we were talking about how you deal with games and lessons and recitals being actually scheduled on Sunday mornings. How do we plan? How do we know what families want and need? Church can't just be a drive thru where you order one unit of world religions and two sides of spiritual development. It takes the commitment of a whole family, it takes a whole family wide understanding of the role of a spiritual life in the development of a child. Yes, soccer and swim team are important--and my children have missed church for these things, too. Yes. But our families are pulled so hard in so many directions, what are they supposed to do? It's critical to have some down time as a family, too. What if Sunday is the only day that isn't packed full, and what if Sunday is crammed full from dawn to dusk, too?
I'm used to counter culture living. We had a family bed, years of breastfeeding, homeschooling and were radical liberals--we only really fit in with our UU church homeschooling group! So telling a swim coach that we wouldn't be coming to Sunday meets was not too big a deal, until my son didn't qualify for the yearly regional meet in some of his best events because those qualifying races were always held on Sundays. And premier soccer simply never takes "no" on required practices--sometimes we skipped anyway. Eventually my kids backed down from these sports that took their lives away from them. But for most families it's extremely difficult.
My goal this year was to help our families realize that "our religion isn't taught, it's caught" and that to really have children absorb all the good stuff about being Unitarian Universalist, families have to show up on Sundays. The dark part is that even when they really get that, life still pulls hard, and most of them come less than half the time. Maybe it's our substandard programming, but I really don't think so--our programming really is excellent. Maybe it's the nasty building we meet in, could be. I know it's not the teachers, they are dedicated, top quality, dear folks who commit for a whole year to the kids. I really think it's just the pace of life. As we're spinning and spinning through our week, it's hard to gear up and get the energy to get the family to church on Sunday mornings. It's just really hard.
Simplify, Simplify, Simplify. (H.D. Thoreau). Maybe this is next year's theme. Maybe.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
The trip to London! No, Amsterdam! No Hawaii.....
Top Ten True Things about Stand-by Travel
10. Spending two days in an airport at the beginning and end of a trip is "normal".
9. Burger King for breakfast, lunch and dinner is SO a balanced vacation diet.
8. Stand-by travelers who miss flight after flight together come to be a rumpled, tired kind of family, and shake hands and pound backs when one of them finally makes it on a plane.
7. Finding a place to sit with an outlet to re-charge your lap top, bingo!
6. After a couple of days of missing flights, flying into an airport 14 hours away from your home renting a car and driving home starts to sound like a really good idea.
5. Airports have memorial gardens, giant meeting rooms, chapels and lounges. Who knew?
4. If you know where to look in the airline computer system, you find out which stand by passengers will get on the flight before they do.
3. Large families who show up for a flight at the very last minute break the hearts of a whole crowd of stand-by passengers who are hoping they'll be stuck in security.
2. Flying for "free" isn't actually free if you count four days of food and extra hotel stays, but hey, not complaining.
1. The very best airport to be stuck in is the Honolulu airport. Live music, open hallways, gentle breezes and the nicest airport staff anywhere. Detroit? Yeah, um....no.
10. Spending two days in an airport at the beginning and end of a trip is "normal".
9. Burger King for breakfast, lunch and dinner is SO a balanced vacation diet.
8. Stand-by travelers who miss flight after flight together come to be a rumpled, tired kind of family, and shake hands and pound backs when one of them finally makes it on a plane.
7. Finding a place to sit with an outlet to re-charge your lap top, bingo!
6. After a couple of days of missing flights, flying into an airport 14 hours away from your home renting a car and driving home starts to sound like a really good idea.
5. Airports have memorial gardens, giant meeting rooms, chapels and lounges. Who knew?
4. If you know where to look in the airline computer system, you find out which stand by passengers will get on the flight before they do.
3. Large families who show up for a flight at the very last minute break the hearts of a whole crowd of stand-by passengers who are hoping they'll be stuck in security.
2. Flying for "free" isn't actually free if you count four days of food and extra hotel stays, but hey, not complaining.
1. The very best airport to be stuck in is the Honolulu airport. Live music, open hallways, gentle breezes and the nicest airport staff anywhere. Detroit? Yeah, um....no.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Gen X Feminist?
I was raised by a feminist, a new feminist just figuring out what this all meant; liberation, equal rights and yes, freedom. My mother was always a champion of the underdog and the oppressed, she still is with her work at the VA pushing vets to and from appointments and her work at the local food shelf/services agency. But when I was a little girl this Women's Movement was all new. It was the 70s. Mothers were leaving the house and the kitchen and headed out into the work force. My grandmother had run a small daycare center in inner city Minneapolis for 20 years, and my mother took it into 10 more years of growth and expansion. By the time I remember being there it was full of kids, lots of kids. White kids, black kids, Native American kids, Egyptian kids, blind kids, kids with CP, kids who sometimes spent the weekends with us because their single mom needed a break--it was kind of a daycare center/social outreach program. But it was clearly a daycare center where kids were dropped off at 6am and were picked up at 6pm.
As I grew up, the expectation was that you left your children. Not from my family of origin, but from society. "Delay getting married, having children. Focus on career, advancement, freedom. Don't let a family hold you back, bring you down. Your children will be fine in day care, after school care, fine!"
I took a Women's Studies class at 23 and when they asked the people who identified as feminists to stand, I sat. Most of us did. I had been married for three years. I was yearning for a family, for children. Some people feel called to the ministry, I felt called to be a mother. The two female instructors, "baby boomers", were furious. "Why? Why don't you call yourself feminists?" We had clearly expressed opinions and beliefs in our discussions and writings that would lead them to believe that we were feminists. But I felt absolutely abandonded by the movement.
Where was the advocacy for women who wanted to be home and raise a family? Social Security benefits? Health care?
I was, infact, pregnant during that class. I highly recommend that everyone announce a pregnancy in a Women's Studies class, I was celebrated with joy and delight! I had my oldest son at 24 in 1991. And until I was in my mid 30s I didn't even realize that other people felt like I did, like feminists who had been left on the road, shunned by the movement because of our choices.
Now I'm old enough to realize that the "male" way was the only model available to those early women fighting for equal rights. To them equal meant to be like men, out in the work force, leaving family behind for long stretches of the day. But for some of us, nothing is further from the truth. Our highest aspirations are realized in raising children. Many Gen-Xers bought the line that you have to go to work, have to leave your babies in daycare, you have to go work in the world, all these women before you worked so hard to get you here, don't let them down.
Some of us, some Gen Xers knew that it was just wrong for us. Some of us know in the depth of our soul that it is an act of extreme feminine power to trust your partner to support you finincially while you give all your power, creativity, heart and mind to the art of Mothering. Some of us painfully stayed seated when the women who identify as "feminist" were asked to stand. If the choice was follow heart and soul or hold the label, well....I had no choice, if mothering the way I chose made me lose my "feminist" card, well so be it.
I have never regretted it, not for one nanosecond. I can see that what the Women's movement needs is some of the Gen X "early adopter" mothers who stayed home and still identify as feminists to come join the movement and speak their truth out loud. We have felt marginalized. No one is going to come re-claim us. We have to go re-claim them.
Now you can never really know what is in someone's heart, but I wonder if this is what's really at the root of the misunderstanding going on with some of our UU women. When I read this blog by CaliforniaGirlinMassachusets, I heard her anger. But I understand the back story in a way that no one but "stay-at-home-mother, life-long-UUs" can. Yes, all 12 of us! I understand.
As I grew up, the expectation was that you left your children. Not from my family of origin, but from society. "Delay getting married, having children. Focus on career, advancement, freedom. Don't let a family hold you back, bring you down. Your children will be fine in day care, after school care, fine!"
I took a Women's Studies class at 23 and when they asked the people who identified as feminists to stand, I sat. Most of us did. I had been married for three years. I was yearning for a family, for children. Some people feel called to the ministry, I felt called to be a mother. The two female instructors, "baby boomers", were furious. "Why? Why don't you call yourself feminists?" We had clearly expressed opinions and beliefs in our discussions and writings that would lead them to believe that we were feminists. But I felt absolutely abandonded by the movement.
Where was the advocacy for women who wanted to be home and raise a family? Social Security benefits? Health care?
I was, infact, pregnant during that class. I highly recommend that everyone announce a pregnancy in a Women's Studies class, I was celebrated with joy and delight! I had my oldest son at 24 in 1991. And until I was in my mid 30s I didn't even realize that other people felt like I did, like feminists who had been left on the road, shunned by the movement because of our choices.
Now I'm old enough to realize that the "male" way was the only model available to those early women fighting for equal rights. To them equal meant to be like men, out in the work force, leaving family behind for long stretches of the day. But for some of us, nothing is further from the truth. Our highest aspirations are realized in raising children. Many Gen-Xers bought the line that you have to go to work, have to leave your babies in daycare, you have to go work in the world, all these women before you worked so hard to get you here, don't let them down.
Some of us, some Gen Xers knew that it was just wrong for us. Some of us know in the depth of our soul that it is an act of extreme feminine power to trust your partner to support you finincially while you give all your power, creativity, heart and mind to the art of Mothering. Some of us painfully stayed seated when the women who identify as "feminist" were asked to stand. If the choice was follow heart and soul or hold the label, well....I had no choice, if mothering the way I chose made me lose my "feminist" card, well so be it.
I have never regretted it, not for one nanosecond. I can see that what the Women's movement needs is some of the Gen X "early adopter" mothers who stayed home and still identify as feminists to come join the movement and speak their truth out loud. We have felt marginalized. No one is going to come re-claim us. We have to go re-claim them.
Now you can never really know what is in someone's heart, but I wonder if this is what's really at the root of the misunderstanding going on with some of our UU women. When I read this blog by CaliforniaGirlinMassachusets, I heard her anger. But I understand the back story in a way that no one but "stay-at-home-mother, life-long-UUs" can. Yes, all 12 of us! I understand.
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