Peter Morales at Westside UU Congregation!

We are such a lucky little church. Or well, a lucky midsized church. The president of the UUA made time in his schedule to visit with us. I know he's here to preach at University Unitarian and I know his son lives in town, but still....an hour and a half with us. That was fabulous.

We got to hear some about his vision and hope for Unitarian Universalists. And he told us a little about how his congregation in Golden had intentionally grown after being stuck at 400 for years.

I wanted to say "wait, you should just ask these folks here what to do to grow a small urban congregation that rents space! We grew from 100-150 in five years! From 23 kids to 80 in five years! Here are your experts in keeping the heart while growing! Here's the people who went from a building fund of 17k to about to move in to a new home in three months!"

But I kept quiet about all of that. The congregation I serve is full of wonderful people who really know how to do church well. But there is always something to be learned from someone who's been through it.

I am wildly proud of my congregation. It's such good work, this crazy job I have. And I am so grateful to serve these people. With Peter's vision and our commitment to a fierce and abiding love that does not back down, I think some amazing things are about to happen.

Amen!

A Shift in our Congregations

It was really an honor to sit with both Peter Morales, our UUA president and with Harlan Limpert, vice president of Ministries and Congregational Support at the recent fall conference. Both of them are so kind and warm--Peter even pulled out his blackberry to tell me where his son lives, to see if it's close to my church. (It's not!) I had a fabulous conversation with Harlan, talking about his home church, First Universalist in Minneapolis, where my brother was married.

As we ate dinner and talked more about our faith and it's future, I was able to share my view from our spot on the hill in West Seattle. I think we might have a unique situation, we're an urban congregation with a neighborhood focus. It's urban and family centered, and over the years we've gained a reputation for serving families especially well. We've grown from 23 kids my first year to 85 or so five years later and growing still. Yes, even with no classrooms and no building and no grass and no playground. It's the people, of course. Our people are deeply committed to the children, youth and families.

But it's more than that. A few years ago, I noticed a trend. Many of our new families kind of brushed me back when I started to explain Unitarian Universalism. "Oh, I grew up UU, I know what the religion is about." It was usually one of the parents, sometimes a male, sometimes a female. Immediately we'd have a connection--'remember the box series?" "the filmstrips" "AYS?" we grew up with the same things, with Unitarian Universalist things.

I started asking visitors "are you seekers, looking for a faith, or are you UUs, looking for a home?"

Sometimes I think we're kind of the canary in the coal mine at my church. Can we serve these returning UUs well? Can we speak to them without alienating them? Do we give them a book that explains Unitarian Universalism when they join our churches? Do we make them attend classes that explain our faith? We are learning. We're doing better. And we're growing because of it. Growing with people who already have a solid formation of Unitarian Universalist faith.

And this is what I got to tell Harlan Limpert as we ate our dinner and chatted about our beloved community. He listened. He took notes. He asked questions. This is the best part of serving on the LREDA board, a chance to share my story with people who need to hear it. To sing my canary song! It's not dark and gloomy and dangerous here. In fact, I think maybe we've found the path to the sun. We can bring our lost family members back, make them welcome. Expect them. Be ready.

Tweet!

Standing on the Side of Love

Must read.

Thanks to the blogger Kim Hampton at "East of Midnight" for getting permission to publish this letter from the Rev. Dr. Mary J. Harrington.

Take the quiz: The Ultimate Church Community

I got an email yesterday "Gini Courter has confirmed you as a friend on facebook". Such a funny world, we zap information back and forth across cyber space like it's a Jetson's cartoon. Oh no big deal, the moderator of the UUA is on facebook asking for feedback from everyone on the UUAs "Ends". Core values, what do we really want. No, really want. Whatever, now I'm gonna go poke my friend and see what my kids' status messages say.

That deserves a little head tilt. "Hunh?"

Well, Gini is of course, using her facebook page not just to poke religious leaders across the globe, she's asking good questions. I gave my little bit of feedback on her note, but really what happened is that it got me thinking.

What do I want? What difference should UUism make in the world.

Well, like the youth at our cons here in the PNWD yell when someone yells "what is it for us to do?" they yell "It is for us to heal the world". Good. I like that. But I'm old and my brain then goes to the details, goes to the "but... how?" with a whine like a three-year-old who just gave up naps.

So, last night as I worked in the church office with the slowest computer on the planet, and it's brother molasses-head, with the lovely company of one of the kids who had tagged along for a meeting. I nattered away at the copying and new sign-in forms and turned in expense reports. This "ends" business kept looming.

I want to grow. I want more people to find that in their hearts they really do just happen to be Unitarian Universalists. And I want them to come into community with us and drag along all their gifts and talents and their in-laws. I want more of us to lean on each other and to pick up the shovels and picks and to get on with this work of healing the world. It's a really big job. We need more helping hands and loving hearts.

We'd better get on to being an expecting congregation, expecting everyone. Ready to welcome them. We need some people sized spaces in our congregations so that when folks show up, there's a spot just waiting for them. We need to just be ready. Once when I was a new Religious Educator I was walking through a room where there was a new member meeting and the president was talking about growth. I think someone had mentioned that they liked our cozy size and wouldn't want us to get much bigger. I tossed over my shoulder that I thought that growing was a moral imperative; that we need to be ready for new people just like this place was ready for us when we peeked in the door.

I was naive and optimistic, but I was right. That's it. We need to find our people out there and welcome them in.

Well, good. Now that we've got that settled I think I'm gonna go take a new likeness quiz on facebook, who knows, I might just figure out the meaning of life.

Class and the Country Club on the 4th of July

So somehow I accidentally joined a country club this summer. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm clinging to my working class roots like a kudzu vine, but somehow...yeah, it's a golf and country club. And I'm a member.

See, my two older sons were looking for a swim team. Not that kind of team with twice daily three-hour practices that steals your whole summer, but a summer league team that is just fun and friends and a good work out.

We found a good one, close to home, one hour practices and meets with THEMES! Like red-white-and blue meet! Yeay. When I went over to register and there was the sign right on the door with the rules about no jeans, and closed toe shoes and all, well I knew: Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore.

And really, it's been fine. It's a chance to sort out my deeply held prejudices about class. At the PNWD AGM Professional Day this winter we had this fantastic day-long workshop about class. Let me just say that Cathy Cartwright from Portland First is a genius and I adore her. But what I realized in that workshop is that while I FEEL like I grew up in a working class family, really by the time I was a kid, my family was pretty well off in a lot of ways. My parents put in an in-ground pool when I was 12. We did go on some kind of vacation every year. There was some expectation that I would go to college. If you've done these workshops you remember the "sorting" kind of questions. Yeah, not working class-blue collar, anymore.

But, man, I still have those blue collar feelings! And even though my husband and I are comfortable (of course thanks much more to his job than mine!) I still sit at these meets at the country club in my little folding chair and watch kind of like a refugee might in a new land. Not quite sure what's going on, but watching all the time.

And so, during yesterday's Red-White and Blue extravaganza meet at a lovely outdoor pool on a lovely day, I got to thinking about class, and our country celebrating our Independence Day and being an American. And I thought about my "Expecting Congregation" ideas and what it means to be of one class or another coming into our congregation. Clearly, I'm not feeling very welcome in this country club world. Is that how people feel when they walk into our congregation--especially if they feel like we're all well off financially?

I think the worst mistake we make in our churches is to ignore class. It's like ignoring race or ignoring gender or sexual identity. We have so much shame about class in our country, because we're supposed to be the land of the free, home of the brave, where everyone and anyone can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and opportunity is everywhere. But shame and ignoring it, don't make it go away.

It's as real as the restriction on denim at my country club.

MORE things to think about here on my month off! Oh well, it's good work, if you can get it! ***"Smiling sigh!"***

Happy Independence Day!

Come on in, we're expecting you!

I took the month of July off, this month of July in fact. Last year was so full and exhausting that I knew by last August that I was going to need a span of time away from church so that I could keep on keepin' on in this beautiful ministry to and with children and youth. So we worked ahead to get summer all set, and leave me out of it!

Yeah, so I'm going in to work this Sunday, of course! But I'm happy to, it's a good plan.

And this thought of being an "Expecting Congregation" really has me. The idea came to me during Bill Sinkford's charge to the youth at the Synergy Service at GA. The thought that I want to go beyond being a welcoming congregation. (small "w" here), I want to be an expecting congregation. "Of course you're welcome here, we're EXPECTING you! Come on in!" Not an us welcoming you kind of thing, but the feeling that you already belong, we have the things around us that you need to feel safe, to feel at home, to feel that warm soft belonging feeling. (http://chalicespark.blogspot.com/search/label/Expecting%20Congregation)

It's a little funny, because I get this vision of our whole congregation being pregnant! But hey, that's really what I MEAN!! We're pregnant with the birth of this beloved community and its profound potential to transform our society! Expecting.

"Expecting Congregation" for youth though; what is that? And expecting congregation for children; how do we do this?

For youth I'm trying to set the expectation that youth are a part of all the workings of our church. Youth lay leaders, youth running the pod cast, youth greeters, youth on all the various committees--youth teaching classes in the Quest adult education ministry. Youth leading Multi Gen worship! Youth in covenant groups!

But they still need their youth group. And they're so busy. We expect so much of a plain old 16 year-old these days. I don't want to add pressure, just opportunities. And of course, I'm not the boss of anyone, these church leaders are going do what they think is right even with my expectations set at "expecting".

Ooo, that's kind of a bummer. Reality.

But I can bring my bushel of seeds of expecting and at least start planting.

Who needs a month off? I just needed a spiritual reflection month, oh yeah, and that amazing trip to bake me a while in Florida at GA!

Still to think on; children and their adults.

UUA GA---The BIG Youth Service, and BIG Ideas!

There is a big huge important tradition here at GA. It's the youth to young adult bridging. The ritual originated in the PNWD, I'm told, with people who are right here in my congregation now. It's a big deal, and this year was combined with a youth worship, and given a good time slot and clearly; a budget and staff support!

I got there late, because half way to the convention center I realized I'd left my name badge in the hotel. There is no entry to UUA GA stuff, except on Sunday, without one. It's been a big deal in the past--white people let in without theirs and people of color kept out. Older people let in without one and younger people denied. And we have the whole homeland security problems since this is in a US port and you must have a government issued photo id to get in, as well as the badge. What a big barrel of issues, there!

The service was nice, varied, interesting. Nick Allen is a fine young man with a passion for youth leadership and empowerment and talked about how we must support youth in each of our congregations and in the greater movement. Elandria Williams told her story of becoming a UU in 4th grade because she was totally uncomfortable with her church's idea that everyone (Hindu, Buddhist and presbyterian) was going to hell, and how this faith has been a home for her. The hymns were good, readings nice, the activity about Multi-Generational worship right on track with what I want.

But, there was one musician, I won't name him because I'm sure he's a very nice guy, but his message just didn't resonate with me. He was all about feeling the pain of the oppressed people, and he looked very pained. But it was uncomfortable for me as a white person. I just want people to sing about their own experience, and write about it, and speak from it. I didn't like him singing about his "brother" like we have any real idea what it's really like to be a person of color.

But the other professional group the service featured was mind blowing and phenomenal. They are called "The Good Asian Drivers", just two of them, and between the spoken word and the singing, it was fantastic. I'm thinking it's better for opening minds and hearts than a hundred workshops. Melissa Li's myspace here http://www.myspace.com/melissalimusic (Kit Yan, other member, has a little too much language and adult content for an RE Blog!)



And then, while Rev. Dr. Bill Sinkford was giving the "charge" to the bridging young adults; something kind of wiggled itself into place for me.

I think what we need to do in our congregtions is not be welcoming or tolerant or accepting. That is still an "us and them" way to be. "We" welcome "you". If you feel welcome you are still on the outside coming in. That's good, and I want that to be true, but I think what we need to be is Expecting Congregations.

"Come IN, we're expecting you!"

Michelle Richards, author of "Come into the Circle" talked about how when she visited a church for the first time and there were child sized hangars in the coat closet, she knew that this church expected children to be there. This church expected HER children to be there.

For that to happen in our congregations: we should have gender neutral restrooms because we expect people with gender identity transitions in process at church. We should have complete accessibility for wheelchairs and scooters as we expect people who use those to come to church. We should have no hymns or readings or things around us that really belong to a culture that is not ours that we have appropriated, because we expect people of all cultures to come to church. We should have DRUMM and DRUMM YaYA and LUUNA, APIC information out on our tables because we expect people of color and people of latino/a culture to come to church. And we should have child and youth and young adult friendly worship services because we expect people of all ALL ages to come to church. And small quiet TOYS for the service because we expect children. And of course we should have large print hymnals and bulletins because we expect elders and people with sight impairment to come to church.

Wouldn't you like to feel, when you walk into someplace new, like they're expecting you--"of COURSE you're welcome, we were waiting here, just for YOU!"

Forget welcoming congregations. I want to be an expecting congregation!

May it be SO!