Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Mommy Post

So much awful news from Haiti.........have to put it down for a moment.

And in Massachusetts. Really? A republican? In the middle of health care reform? I hope the early results turn around. I can't really look at it until we know more.

But being a mom. That's one I'm pretty used to.

I've been thinking a lot about money lately. The job change my husband made has been fabulous for our family. Can you say two cars in the garage, four bikes on pulleys on the ceiling and about six trips to donate at Goodwill? Oh yeah. It's good. We're all much happier. The routine around here is calm; I do the most travel which amounts to about three times a year.

I'm so happy he made the change. But while we knew he'd make less money, he is making a lot less than we thought. It's fine, we're not going to starve or anything, and hey--going out to eat is bad for your health anyhow, right? And children SHOULD wear hand me down clothing even if it's not the current "Style" it builds character. We're fine. It's all good.

But we have a child going to college next year, and next to no savings. Money is going to be a real issue here at the homestead.

I have been feeling very, very guilty for working only half time (OK, yes, I work more HOURS, but whatever). I feel like I should work more-better-different. Why didn't I get that Law Degree? OK, never mind that there are more lawyers than ever working at Starbucks. I should go get a night job at the local Irish Pub, I LOVE serving beer to crazy crowds....yes, I actually do love being a server--I love the energy and the rush and the fun.....but at the pub they have to wear little school girl plaid skirts......and I don't think that would work now that I'm 42. Nope. So what can I do? Teach an evening class? Write again and try to make money? Discover a rich relative? Beg?

No. Probably none of those things. And what strikes me as really funny is the newness of this feeling for women. My mother worked when she was a single mother, yes. But when she got married again the expected thing was for her to stop working and stay home with the children. And yes, later she worked as a defacto social worker running an inner city daycare center, and worked from then on--even now working pushing veterans in wheelchairs at the VA. But when she was home raising children, that was what was expected. Not working, but managing family life.

What's expected from our culture for me, just a generation later, is to be out making money; career, contribute. Be fulfilled through what I do.

I love what I do for work. It's fabulous. But it's not about the money. And it's not even full time. Maybe I should have done that "career that makes good money" thing.

MONEY! (grump)

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