Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Wild Fantasies

Bacon. Maybe it's all the talk about Swine Flu. Or all the bad, and I mean really bad Piglet jokes going around on facebook and email. Maybe it's being busier than I even knew a person could be.

I want bacon.

I've been a vegetarian for about six, no seven years. I really don't miss meat. Sometimes, like a few months back when I ordered clam chowder at Spud, I accidentally eat bacon bits or something, it's fine. I'm not tyrannical about not eating meat. I just don't want to, mostly.

Except for now.

I think it's a microwave splatter that keeps getting warmed and wafts it's fatty pigness all over my house at the very worst times. A few months ago I started "circular" shopping. Hitting all the really good deals in town, finding them in the circulars. (btw, they come on Sunday, Tuesday and Saturday here in Seattle) I sometimes make a meal out of what's on sale. If I can get two pounds of bacon for five bucks, well then I'm making a breakfast-dinner. The last bacon I bought was maple brown-sugar bacon. Let me tell you, it's evil. We cooked it all up, and despite my warnings about super nitrates, I think someone (no one who actually lives here of course or at least not that they will admit) warmed some up in the micorwave. I think it might have splattered. And with my husband working out of town and my work and school and kid schedule maybe housework is something that other people get to do and all. So it smells like maple-y bacon every time someone uses the microwave.

Not good.

I have a friend who was a vegetarian for years. When she was studying to be a physician, the more she learned, the less she wanted to eat meat. Years went by. She worked through pregnancy and birth and years of breastfeeding as a veggie. She was committed. Until the morning that her mother-in-law made bacon. Now at her house you can have a hamburger that her husband made for the kids and they didn't want. It's free range, it's hormone free. But it's cow. They're omnivores again. All because of.....


Maybe I need a month with a commune that has no meat and no facebook. Maybe I need to slow things down (HOW EXACTLY!?) maybe I need my husband to find a job that isn't this one or at least isn't out of town this much. What I really do not need though, is of course....


Crispy, sizzling, hot and maple-y bacon. Not at all. Please! No bacon.


Anna Banana said...

I know! Bacon is awesome. I don't buy it, but have it if I go out for breakfast. In between I eat Morningstar Farms "bacon". Not the same, but not bad!

Kari said...

Oh I know! But good still, "fake-on" we call it. I don't think I'll actually eat bacon again because it's not really that big a deal, but you know.....that smell! But it's a really good idea to have an "only-when-eating-out" list. I should do that with tortilla chips because they just might be the devil.